A day in the life....

                                    

                                          Picture from the Euroasian Lynx Rewilding UK

Things have been going a little strange in the land of the heather. Last week it was hotter here than it was in Madrid.

And then yesterday it snowed.

The Scottish Government have been up to their usual nonsense by planning to ban the famous square sausage, also know as the Lorne sausage. As a veggie I couldn’t really care less as the vegan rolls on sausage are not covered by the ban.

A slightly more interesting thing is that Scotland for some reason is going back to the 1200s or before and thinking of re-introducing wolves into the wild, along with wild boar and the European black bear. Also maybe as a slight nod as how successful this could be there’s talk of Edinburgh zoo releasing two of their European Lynx into the Great Glen. The powers that be seem to think that these wild cats will know the difference between feral rabbits which they are supposed to kill and local livestock such as the wee lambs. To say nothing of the small black haggis – you have seen pictures of them here on this blog site.

Not to be outdone London zoo have announced the birth of an animal with a similar genetic mutation to albino-ism. This  gives the animal a slight blue colour. In a clutch of five hedgehogs, two have been born with this mutation and while they are not blue blue they are definitely not hedgehog colour. They are more of a colour that might be called Cornflower Ice on a paint chart.

The Italian embassy, following the ruling of Norway ( or was it Sweden?) has asked for a ban on pineapple being offered as a topping on all takeaway pizzas. As I think pineapple on pizza is pretty close to Satanism I think this could be a very popular move.

Meanwhile, post pandemic, Lego have announced hugely increased profits and will soon be bringing out life sized Lego pieces. The plan is that these are not toys but you can sit and talk to them if you are lonely, or take them into the office just to give a wee buzz around the place.  Faces and clothes are interchangeable.

It’s been widely reported that avian flu has now got a few hotspots amongst the domestic fowl population of Britain. I think there are two outcomes of this. One is that we can’t buy free range eggs in the shops as all birds have to be kept away from any contact with wild birds. And some birds on the south coast of Englandshire,  incarcerated for the first time , have started to lay oblong eggs. These have been passed fit for human consumption and are now available in very trendy west end restaurants in London.

Another thing that is rocketing in price at the moment are building materials, wallpaper and paint. The house market is so vigorous – remember that we have a system of buying houses almost like a silent auction – people  are just building on extensions and once again the tartan paint is proving very popular.

Popular one coat tartan paint; Royal Stewart.

And if you think that the world isn’t strange enough, somebody filmed the Loch Ness monster last week and not one of them, but two. Caught on camera in the middle of the Loch! The wave patterns, direction of movement, strength of wakes, all show that the two creatures were very big and moving independently. Halfway through the film, one of them turns left as if it has forgotten to turn the gas off.

                                        

                                                          A handbook of Nessiness.

 These are the things that are reported on this little island of ours on April 1^st  2022.

One of them is actually true.

Any guesses as to which one?

Caro