Friday, August 26, 2022

Please destroy once read


  •          Print length ‏ : ‎ 304 pages
  •          Best Sellers Rank: 52 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)

  • This is a blog that’s going to tell you absolutely nothing because I’m not allowed to say anything about it at all as I’ve been sworn to secrecy.  The first thing was, or really the first thing is, is that I’m No 1 in the Scandinavian Kindle crime charts. I don’t know if that means I’m being read a lot in Scandinavia or if those lovely folks at Amazon think that Scotland is part of Scandinavia. But, either way I know have a number 1 best seller ticket. In keeping with the secret spy nature of this blog I think Stan the man might know what is going on here. The rest of you will have to wait till Bouchercon.

    As you all are quite sensible people, you may already know about the Amazon sale tracker, where you put the position of your book in the Amazon charts, and  the wee app tells you how many copies a day you’re selling. It's interesting that when the book was put out as a free download for four days, it downloaded 6000 or 7000 copies per day. When it goes up to 99p it still downloaded a lot. And it can sit at 99p for a week and even when it goes up to £2.99 it still downloads in its thousands. And thinking about that 99p in fiscal terms- Amazon obviously take a bit of that, and then the Kindle publisher takes a bit of that, then my publisher takes a bit of that, then my agent takes 15% of what’s left. But to quote James Patterson "the units that I’m shifting at the moment", well lets just say it brings a warm tear to a typically thrifty Scottish soul.

    On other news that I can’t tell you about things are shuffling around in the universe. When you get to my age you notice that people around you are starting to retire, so a trip to London has been arranged with a few meetings here. This is to ensure that anybody's future career doesn’t depend on someone that they'd email quite happily, but not somebody you'd want to meet face to face. You know the sort of person, the type that makes you hide in the toilet. I have had the 'thing' of people high up in publishing, (private school, twin set and pearls, spends three hours at lunch and a hard days work would kill them,) give me a virtual pat on the head and say ‘Oh you’re Scottish, how quaint’.

    I asked the person setting up the meetings to ask these prospective peeps one question, and that was, 'Do you like dogs?' I know there are exceptions – Hitler and Myra Hindlay being two. But, generally people who like dogs are good eggs in my experience. And even if we’re fighting over the title of the book we can always make up again admiring pictures of various pooches on the phone.

    So, the winner is the one who immediately responded with a picture of her blonde shaggy dog of indeterminate breed that looked like a Danish chocolate shortcake in but dipped in mud rather than  chocolate.

  • I suspect this person, like me, will have an untidy car covered in dog hair and mud. I also suspect we might get on well.

  • Say nothing to anybody about this blog as it's top secret. Apart from you obviously, you are allowed to know..... but only you....


  • Me, at a secret location.


  1. TERRIFIC, WHOOPPEE, WONDERFUL AND YAY YAY YAY! You're always #1 in our book, Caro.

  2. Sorry I can't share my comment with you: it's top secret... But I'm partying on your behalf.

  3. Me too! By the way, I'm sorry to spoil your secret, but Donald Trump has a copy at Mar-a-Lago (unless the FBI has it now...)

  4. Oh super duper great wonderful fun!!!