Thursday, June 1, 2017

Where will it be located?

Stanley - Thursday

With all of the noise about Donald Trump and the chatter that he may not see out his term of office, I started thinking about what I remember presidents for: Kennedy’s charisma and subsequent assassination;  Johnson’s escalation of the Vietnam War and his entrenchment of the Great Society;  Nixon’s “I did not tell a lie.” and subsequent resignation (I actually remember best his sweaty upper lip.);  Ford’s inability to walk and chew gum;  Reagan’s trickle-down economics;  George Bush senior’s . . . . . I’m not sure anything sticks out except for the invasion of Iraq;  Clinton’s “I never had sex.” And his dominance of the Republicans politically and his charisma;  G-dub Bush – his blank look and the Crash;  And Obama’s grace and oratory skills.

So what about Trump?  Already there are too many memorable things.  To mention just a few would be to minimise the others.  So let me turn to what I think about another legacy of all presidents  – the presidential library.

Typically, these libraries are wonderful resources for scholars trying to understand what was behind presidential actions and policies and what was discussed with other important people.  They contain the presidential papers, memos, and memorabilia.

But what about Trump’s presidential library?

Where will it be?  In a corner of the New York City public library?  If that happens Annamaria won’t be able to do any more research there.  I doubt that this will happen though – the local opposition would be too great.

How about in Trump Tower?  This holds greater promise.  A gigantic TV monitor could be placed on one wall and show Trump’s entire speeches one after the other.  Another monitor would scroll through all his tweets.  And a third monitor would show Fox News live.  There would have to be a small filing cabinet to house all the legislation he passed and a bigger one for legislation that failed to get through.  And a huge one for executive orders.  Perhaps a bookcase or two.  And cheeseburgers for people to eat while watching Fox News.  But I don’t think it will be there either, both because it’s in New York and Trump would hate to see too much riff-raff coming into the building.  I suspect the Secret Service wouldn’t be too chuffed either.

At Mar-a-lago in Florida?  I don’t think so. Historians wouldn’t be able to afford the $200K entry fee.

At one of Trump’s hotels?  Nah.  He would lose too much money not being able to rent out the space.  Unless he conned the incoming president to have the country rent the space.

Trump doesn’t go west of the Mississippi, so that takes out Kansas and other conservative havens.  I doubt whether any of the west coast states would want it, so where else does that leave?  No.

Kentucky – so the out-of-work coal miners can go and worship?  Mississippi – where people would be too ill to visit to give thanks for the repeal of Obamacare?  No to both.

Coal miners supporting Trump
Puerto Rico?  That also holds promise as it is familiar territory for Trump because a presidential library could help it struggle out of bankruptcy.  Again, I don’t think so.

Perhaps Mexico City as a thank you for helping build the Trump wall?  Definitely not.

Russia?  Nyet, even if it is paid for by Putin.

So where does that leave? 

I think the perfect place for the Trump Presidential Library would be Scotland – a country that wants to leave the EU and loves England.  No, no.  That’s not right.  It’s a country that wants to leave England and loves the EU.  Whatever it is, having the library near Loch Ness would benefit Caro – think of all those whiplash cases she would have from people trying to keep track of Trump’s positions.  It would be great for tourism, too.  People could search for two monsters in the same place.

So, Scotland it is.  In a small castle perhaps.  The interior would be remodelled into a maze and the signs about where to go would be blank or would change every hour or so.  The castle would be surrounded by a moat with a drawbridge to keep visitors out.  And as Trump ages and retires to bonnie Scotland, the moat and drawbridge could be used to keep him inside.  Where he could watch Fox News and eat a cheese burger.

So, what do you think?  Any other suggestions?


  1. I thought this blog might be about Donald having read a book. No.

    Then I thought you meant Scotland wants to leave England as 'to no longer be a part of, ' but you meant leave as in 'leave behind.' Didn't you Stan?

    And we would welcome him. And we would poke him with a stick. And send him to walk through high thistles in a short kilt with the undergarments of a true Scot ( none.). That will focus his mind a bit.

  2. The only problem with Scotland is that then the Scots will want to leave Scotland as well as well as the rest of the UK.

    My suggestion is the Maldives. One of the smaller islands. And he gets to live there too. Since global warming doesn't exist, the fact that those islands are a just a few feet above sea level will be no problem at all.

  3. The universe requires balance. The proper place is the bottom of the Mariana Trench, the depth of which can partially balance the shallowness of everything else Trumpian.

  4. The answer lay in Prayer. "Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust," and in DJT's case--what he dreads most--Queens to Queens.

  5. What a wonderful dilemma to think about. I vote for Mars. I hear it's hot as Hades.

  6. Oh, gosh, the poor people of the Maldives don't deserve a Trump library. But maybe a small, unhabited island in the Pacific Ocean would do.

    After all, there wouldn't be too many words. Despite the Tweets, Trump's vocabulary doesn't exceed about 200 words. So, if edited for repetition, there would actually be few words.

    And who would want to read any of this anyway? Rhetorical question.

    1. Fair comment. There are lots of uninhabited islands in the Maldives. Everyone else is going to have to be evacuated anyway. I think the highest point across all the islands is only 8 feet and the average about 5 feet.