The Aftermath.

                                      

 We are not over with this election. I hope you can follow this. I couldn't.

                                        

                                                   Before...

On the 8^th June, the first exit poll at 10.30 pm said the Tories will have no overall majority. Labour will do well. The SNP will lose 20 seats. Nobody believes that except Alan who gives me a 20 minute discourse that exit polls are accurate because of the particular polling stations used.

                                     

                                                     Before...

Every SNP seat lost 14-17% of their votes. One candidate  got in by 2 votes ( see later). They lost both their parliamentarians.  All the SNP MPs were either working in a chip shop or teaching algebra two years ago.

Amber Rudd (Conservative) had three recounts for her constituency, so we were nearly devoid of a home secretary.

 Mr Fishfinger and Lord Buckethead  receive huge acclaim as they made some sense.

Alex Salmond ( Ex SNP Leader, ) says we haven’t seen the last of him and is ungracious in defeat.

Nick Clegg ( ex lib dem leader) loses seat and is very gracious. ( I have been told he smells lovely)

9^{th JUne}  The country waits for the last result to come in, it’s Kensington – they have had three recounts. Counters are too tired and they have a snooze. In the end it went to Labour.

                                                

                                                                After

May in deep trouble. She  refuses to resign, Boris Johnson says he’s not interested in leadership. He’s a fibber

Number 20 ( where the PM lives) say that DUP have agreed to an informal coalition. ( May is a few votes short of a majority so has to team up with another party. The only right wing one that will dance is the DUP, more about them later but they are NNP –not nice people)

Ruth Davison ( leader of the Scottish Tories) threatens to pull out  and take her 9 MPs  with her. ( leaving May in the stookie again).

Number 10 and the DUP both issue denials as if ashamed to be seen out with each other.

 Jeremy Corbyn is asked  to look at his numbers again….he could form a ‘progressive alliance’ slightly on the left if May can’t get it together.

                                                          

                                                                          After

10^th  People wake up to the DUP; Being from NI, they cannot do this without being in danger of breaching the Good Friday Agreement. We get very twitchy about the return of that kind of terrorism. The DUP are extreme Orange from a very divided country that Corbyn and Mo Mowlam ( and many others) tried to reunite, or at least, stop  the killing.

11^th Labour membership goes up by 150 000 members. Hurrah for Jeremy. 

Scotland have wrecked May’s plans. We also wrecked Sturgeon’s (SNP’s plans) as the power balance is now lying with the few Scots Tories, not the SNP so Sturgeon is now irrelevant.

                                         

                                                                      Before

Donald Trump says he still wants  come over here to meet May.

The Queen says don’t bother, as does Corbyn. Scotland will put the lights off and pretend we are all out.

It got too confusing by Monday to  do this day by day…

I declare to be biased.  I don’t really see the point of voting for people with an uncosted manifesto when their entire reason for living is (in their eyes) independence and (in my eyes) separation. The SNP cannot tell us what our currency will be and what it will be worth so having a house and a business that deals in Sterling you can see the problems of earning in Salmonds or Sturgeons.

I have heard from those at the count that the SNP were slightly threatening as they realised their vote had tumbled by 20% and the number of MPs dropped by 21.  They still claimed victory.  A good example would be the constituency of Fife North East where the SNP got in by 2 votes.  On the first two recounts it went to the Lib Dems and on the third recount it went to the SNP and suddenly no more recounts were allowed so that is now going to court.

                                                     

                                                                    After/during/both   

Every single one of them said that Jeremy Corbyn stole their manifesto, but that manifesto has been in Jeremy Corbyn’s mind for at least fourteen years before our own MP was born and I know that because I was at a rally in Trafalgar Square in 1983. ( and was arrested with him but keep that quiet)

So all that happened with ten days to go to the start of the Brexit negotiations.  On Sunday Merkel hinted that she might have to hang about until the Brits got their act together. I can imagine her playing keepy uppy on a deserted football field (Soccer I mean!), and shouting up the tunnel ‘Come out Theresa, when ever you have a team ready….’        

There is the interesting aspect that the biggest threat to the SNP at the moment is Nicola Sturgeon.  Within two years she has gone from being the most respected leader in British politics to having negative popularity and the graph of that fall is interesting.  It didn’t happen at the time of the Brexit Referendum, it happened at the time of her response to that Referendum which was to get a second independence referendum back on the calendar.  Bearing in mind we said no less than a year before. 

I hope you can all understand that the woman in the polling booth now knows who we are when we walk in, that’s how frequently we have been to the polls in the last few years.  Sturgeon’s decision to call for IndyRef2, although they absolutely deny it was on the cards now, was when her popularity plummeted as it was seen to be opportunistic and independence at any cost.  In the meantime Tracey Ullman made fun of her. And it was cruel and funny.

                                           

At uni Sturgeon was known as seaweed- as even the tide wouldn’t take her out. 

So by the time we got to five pm on Sunday Theresa was going for a hard Brexit, the government response was unchanged, Jeremy was going for a soft Brexit and someone else was going for no Brexit at all.  Then Lord Buckethead launched his manifesto. (hurrah)

                                    

Lord Buckethead shares the stage with Theresa May... and vice versa

 Here’s a wee example of the twisted nature of the SNP.  They said that the amount of women in parliament has fallen and that can only be bad for the country and bad for womens’ rights.  In reality what that meant was there are more male SNP MPs in parliament than female SNP MPs.  The overall figures for Westminster shows that this is the most diverse House of Commons there has ever been.  There is a higher number of women, a higher number of lesbian and gay MPs and a higher number of ethnic minority MPs than ever before. Ditto disabled MPs.   And I think the country is very proud of that.

And May has to be very careful with the DUP. I believe the DUP have gone on record as saying homosexuality is worse than paedophilia. Ruth Davidson is gay and she will walk if she feels gat rights are under any threat.

                                           

Then the Scottish football team held the English football team to a draw managing to throw away victory in three minutes of injury time. That was a great result for the Scots as the team is..well… not very good. 

The SNP claimed that the referee only stopped the game once the English had equalised. ( I think that was a joke  )

                                                   

So now the Cabinet is doing a sort of hokey cokey.  Michael Gove is out and in, Boris Johnson is pretending not to want to be the leader and Theresa said she got us into this mess and is going to get us out and the internet has got hold of a picture of Jeremy Corbyn’s son who is some sort of sex god.  Give him a couple of years and he will be the new Justin Trudeau.

On a serious note, many are very uneasy about the breaking of the Good Friday Agreement if the British Government really does start to hold hands with the DUP.

Oh and Tim Farron, head of the Lib Dems has just resigned.

                                               

Behold Lord Buckethead. He wants to nationalise Adele.

Caro Ramsay  16 06 2017