Friday, December 8, 2017

The Perfect Storm

November was always going to be difficult. There was a perfect storm of stuff going on. 

Having a publication date during Book Week Scotland was never really going to pan out. 

Having a deadline the day after publication date just poured a little more rain on an already sodden parade.

I was out at events for seven consecutive nights. The  distances involved necessitated taking a week off work and did I mention the deadline for the book on Friday??

The working title for the book was 'the novel with no plot'. 

It still is that way. On delivery day.

So what of the events?

The best event involved a ferry, an enthusiastic library, on stage with two mates, questions asked by the audience, loads of laughs, banter and general merriment. Apart from the hotel -even with the heating on - being ice station zebra.  Big cheque for that, cupcakes, wine.

Another event was my guest blogger ,Pat Young’s book launch again enthusiastic library good coffee, cheery audience and a difficult drive back through the snow. Chocolate, black coffee.

I had my book launch in the middle of a shopping mall and they had turned the heating off, I think they were threatening to burn the book just to get a heat. I was nabbed by one of those  slightly creepy stalker writers have. 'If I would read his 115,000 word epic based on the exciting world of accounting.' Champagne, chocolates and coffee.

 We travelled to the other side of the country to an area of deprivation where the librarians had baked the cakes and the little old ladies wandered in out of the snow, had no idea who I was but they left with lots of ideas on how to kill their husbands.  Nice coffee, very chatty.

The worst one was definitely the charity event where basically I was treated errmmmm rudely?  It was a bit weird as I was doing them a favour. But they will not get away unscathed as the man in question is going in a book to be brutally and slowly tortured. Interestingly the gloss and the emails surrounding that evening have been profuse, claiming the success of the night but it turns out friends of patients were there and the word leaked back to me that they had felt quite uneasy about it as well.

 Another event was in a library built in the late 19th century, there had been a lot of communication backwards and forwards with the librarian/writer who was going to interview me. He then fell sick so I was introduced to the man who was left with the task; he had holes in his jumper, it had taken him half an hour to think up one question. It was no surprise when he said he was a poet and actor,. He didn’t read or watch any crime. He  was absolutely lovely ,a rather gentle soul who kept asking me 'in the longer work of narrative ,how do you counter point the surrealism of the underlying metaphor.'
And he  expected me to answer. The audience were all crime fans and appreciated my raised eyebrow as we stuffed ourselves on the mince pies. He was genuinely surprised when I pointed out that crime novels were about people and character, I think he might write a poem about me. 

The deadline for my novel was two hours ago so guess what I’m going to do now?

That was the blog I was supposed to deliver last week. This week hasn't been any better. Went to an event- the two female authors got a small posy of flowers to that them. The two men got a bottle of ten year matured Talisker. Now, I am not a feminist but...

Then on Monday, a sinkhole appeared on the kitchen floor. Tuesday I tripped up in the car park and ended up in hospital getting my Right patella x-rayed. Today I was back in having my left ankle X rayed after falling over the strapping on my right knee.
And then the tele broke, followed  by the lap top. 

Normal blog function next week!

Here's a few launch pics...
Before Kick off
It is as cold as it looks.

Comparisons drawn to that tuneful double act
Peters and Lee.
See, we are the same!

Caro Hopalong Ramsay.
No idea when or where I am!


  1. All I can say is get well soon. And The Novel Without a Plot is a GREAT title! Wish I'd thought of it first!

  2. Congratulations on the launch, condolences on the knee and ankle, and can’t wait to hear the story on A Night at the Charity!

  3. Given your climate, your schedule, and your supreme exhibition of coordinated footwork, I think I'm glad I don't live anywhere near your postal code.

    But keep writing. I have it from good authority that a plot is bound to show up before you hit 500,000 words...