I’ve kind of been struggling with books lately—not just the ones I’m writing, but the ones I’ve been living with. I have shelves and stacks and cupboards full of books. Some of them books I haven’t opened in years,some that I've never opened--period. And that's the big problem; I’m not reading them. And they're sitting there judging me and my weak eyesight or weak will power or just lack of energy... and that’s not fair to the books—or to me.
Yet it feels wrong to give them away because many/ most/ all of these books feel like a part of myself. If I let them go, would I be losing the person I was when I first bought them? When I first fell in love with them?
Because isn't my whole identity that of someone who reads?
But why?
I want to read for enjoyment, of course. That's how I first started reading, and that still holds. But I realise the primary way I take in the world around me is through reading. It's what feeds me. And lately, I've been reading less than any other time in life. Reading over lunch or dinner or for an hour before bed... quite pathetic, really. But I wasn't doing anything about it because it only came up when I was too tired to deal with it.
But recently I was 'forced' to confront this.
I’ve signed up for something called the 5X5 'Flow Prone' course by the Flow Lab, which is designed to help you reliably achieve flow state in your work--in my case, writing.
(This isn't an ad--I'm just starting the 3rd week, but I'll let you know how it goes!)
The idea is take action, however small, in the 5 key areas, 5 days a week. PRONE an acronym for Physiology/Regulation (mental)/Optimisation(work smarter)/ Nutrition / Environment.
The first 4 categories were pretty easy, once I got organised.
Physical: I get 60 to 90 min of pilates or yoga in the morning and walking, slow jogging and swimming in the evening.
Mental Regulation: I do my morning pages, including noting things I’m grateful for, what can be improved, and pick the day's steps towards my weekly, monthly and long-term goals.
Optimisation: I've downloaded the Freedom app, which blocks apps and distractions on all my devices during my work hours (9–11 a.m. and 2–5 p.m.).
Nutrition: We're happy with our meal plan.
But the fifth one—environment—is where I’ve fallen down most badly--and it's mostly because of all my books.
One step I have taken is exiling my “writing buddies” from my desktop to the shelf above...
I need them nearby, because they're the ones who play roles when I'm trying to figure things out.
And these are the editors who listen (and sit in judgement) when I read passages out loud to see how they sound!
But the big step, that's much harder but I'm determined to take, is giving away some of the books I know I’ll never read again. And that is really painful.
I am still reading, but moving from paper to ebooks and audiobooks feels a little like betraying a first love. But then I remind myself: people probably once said the same about hand scripted parchment manuscripts when Gutenberg’s press came along. Weren't early printers were accused of destroying tradition? And before that, perhaps stone carvers sneered at the newfangled feather quills—would the Ten Commandments have counted if they’d been written on treated rawhide instead of chiseled in stone?
And even the act of writing something down was a step away from the stories we used to share around the campfire after a day of hunting wasn't it?
Because in the end, it’s not about the medium but the stories we share, the chance they give us to look at ourselves, our lives and the wonderful, unbelievable potential of being alive in time and space.
And my precious paper books? One day they may feel like those tiny lotus shoes once worn by women with bound feet—treasured relics and part of heritage while being too impossibly constricting to be worn. I marvel at them even as I walk everywhere freely and easily in my huge Sketchers.
Because yes, a big advantage of e-readers is that I can zoom in and increase font size, and contrast, making reading much easier on the eyes.
And yes, I still treasure my paper books. They will always be a precious part of me and of the life I crafted around my love of reading.
So yes, some of my books are going new homes--via book exchange shelves and the library's Big Book Giveaway (September 13-14, 2025, from 10am to 4pm at The Plaza, National Library Building, Singapore if anyone's interested). The biggest risk is of course that I might come home with more books than I leave there! I still own more physical books than I will ever finish reading and I'm still buying them... I'd really like to know how everyone else is managing their libraries. I'm guessing it's easier in less humid climes.
