Happiness is under 30 minutes: Scones

Karen Odden - every other Thursday 

When I was growing up, my mother did not like to cook. It was a different era; more food came out of cans (anyone remember La Choy Chow Mein, with the dry noodles in the separate can on top?); and the term “farm to table” did not exist, at least not in the Rochester suburb where I grew up. 

As an adult, I learned to cook for my kids – workmanlike, weekday meals such as chicken parmesan, stir-fry, and risotto – with recipes, and with guidance from my husband, who grew up in a family that Cooked with a capital C. (That capital C should be in a font twice that size, italicized, and in bold. Just saying.) Thanksgiving was a three-day cooking extravaganza complete with hand-torn loaves of stale bread for stuffing and an enormous turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, succotash, homemade cranberry relish (two kinds), and five kinds of pie. His mother filled an entire wall with pots and pans, each particular to a use, on a cork-board along the staircase down to the basement, in addition to the cookware in the kitchen cupboards. My husband still does all the holiday cooking – it’s he who makes French onion soup from scratch and the Beef Wellington in phyllo dough for Thanksgiving every year. (Guests welcome!) 

But my special, small niche in the kitchen is baking. I have a killer triple-decker carrot cake recipe, with lemon cream cheese frosting, that people sometimes ask for, very specifically, when I say, “What can I bring?” to a dinner party. (As in, it may be why I’m invited.) I have a popular lemon tart, with the zing of lemon zest and a shortbread crust. And I make Craisin and white-chocolate scones, light and moist and perfect for breakfast or dessert, that have never failed to please. Bookstore owner and mystery maven Barbara Peters now calls them "the official Poisoned Pen scones," after I repeatedly brought them to my book launches. 

(For those who don't know, the Pen is an indie bookstore in Old Town Scottsdale that specializes in mystery and holds many author events both in person and virtually, so anyone can watch. November guests include Charles Finch, Tasha Alexander, Janet Evanovich, T. Jefferson Parker, and Julia Spencer-Fleming. https://poisonedpen.com/. )

Baking is like writing, somewhat. 

You gather an array of ingredients (characters), and you combine them in a particular order, give or take (meet, fall in love, become enemies). Blend the wet first, then add the dry. Knead, but don’t work the dough too much. Add spices, flavoring to taste (strew clues throughout). It requires perfect attention to the rules with some things (have an inciting incident, spellcheck) but leeway with others (the crime can happen earlier or later). For example, I am scrupulous about my flour measurements (spoon it into the measuring cup; never, ever just dip the cup measure into the flour, or you will use too much) but I always put in more white chocolate chips than the recipe calls for because I like them a bit sweet and the dough has very little sugar. I rough chop the Craisins, which the original recipe doesn’t call for, because then you get that bit of tartness in every bite. (Note -- when I was in Scotland, I discovered there is a Major Controversy about scone shape. They like them in clumpy rounds; mine are pie shaped. They might not even count as scones in the UK. Furthermore, I have also been instructed on the pronunciation of the word: my friend Wendy H. Jones, in Scotland, pronounces it more like "scawns" than "scones.") 

 

After writing all day, I long to work with my hands, engage my senses of taste and smell, and spend time without a screen. So baking is a pleasure. 

For anyone who wants it, this is the scone recipe, adapted from one that friends Evan and Tami gave me, as I’ve amended over the years. They're easy and sure to please.

Happiness is under 30 minutes.  

Ingredients:

1 ¾ c flour, plus some for dusting the surface when kneading 

¼ c sugar 

2 ½ tsp baking powder 

½ tsp salt 

5 Tbsp unsalted butter, chilled and cut into pieces 

1 large egg, beaten 

1 tsp vanilla 

6 Tbsp half-and-half 

¾ c Craisins (chopped/halved) 

¾ c white chocolate chips (I use Nestle; some other brands are larger and don’t combine as well unless you halve them) 

Instructions: 

Mix the first five ingredients together by hand or mixer until they are fully blended into crumbs. Then add the rest, blending until just incorporated. Turn the mixture onto a floured surface and knead for two minutes, adding flour in as needed until it isn’t sticky. Cut the dough and form into two rounds. Cut the rounds along the diameter 4 times (think spokes on a bicycle wheel) to make 8 pieces each; they will be pie shaped. Bake on a flat pan, lined with parchment paper, in a 400-degree oven (or 375 convection), 7-8 minutes. (Every oven is different, and these are like pine nuts, you have to catch them at the right minute.) 

Do not let them brown (they turn sort of taupe), or they will taste burnt. They will puff up a bit and should be lightly golden along the edges. Remove from the pan and cool on a rack.

The Royals, Revealed

 Sujata Massey

It seems all about Harry and Meghan this week. But they've made me think about some less glamorous people, too. 

An Oprah Winfrey interview of Britain’s Duke and Duchess of Sussex aired three nights ago and opened a rare, uncensored view of personal relationships within Buckingham Palace. Among the many disturbing revelations during the interview were the royal couple’s assertion that Meghan was denied the freedom to get psychiatric care, even when suicidal; and that a member of the family made racist comments about their baby, and they were denied security services and many more things senior royals tae for granted. Harry and Meghan also expressed pain about cruel and untrue stories about Meghan that flourished in British tabloids that led to a nationalistic rage against her--a situation they believe could have been curtailed if Buckingham Palace had stood behind her.

 

I had an inkling that things were not right in Kensington Palace, but like most people, I bought the party line that the Sussexes had departed the palace without warning, supposedly blind-siding the Queen. In the interview, the couple made clear there had been months of planning for the departure. The nasty "Megxit" stories were just an extension of the hatchet job done before.

I was surprised and happy when Prince Harry fell in love with Meghan Markle. I'd assumed he'd marry a society or noblewoman--instead, he found happiness with a biracial woman from Los Angeles who already had found success as an actor. Through her blogging and volunteer work, Meghan had proved herself both a feminist and a champion of marginalized people. She was beautiful, inside and out. 

 

Harry and Meghan’s romance also appealed to me because I was once was “Her Majesty’s Subject.” I was born in Sussex to parents from India and Germany. Our family emigrated from England to America England in the mid-sixties for two reasons. In the United States, my father could get a professor job based on merit rather than years served at a university. Secondly, my parents feared if we stayed in Britain we would grow up thinking of ourselves as second class citizens.  For years, I thought my mother was exaggerating. It wasn’t until much later that my parents shared a few stories of discrimination, and I realized that my hair, skin and name would have stamped me as a remnant of colonization. 

 

Our family built a good life in the United States. I suffered hard years in high school, but I went on to have a deeply gratifying college education. I  worked in a dream career in newspaper journalism for five years followed by a lengthy and even more fulfilling career writing mystery and historical fiction. In almost every book I've written, there was a British character. I think this is because I consider my birthplace a part of who I am. 

I married a college classmate, a white man from the Deep South. After seven years of marriage, we adopted two very brown children. This surprised more than a few people.Our diverse family of four drew attention--whether it was 'good for you!' smiles beamed at us from cashiers in the grocery store to flat-out queries if the children were ours or where we adopted them from. Less common, but far more offensive, was un-asked for opinions on the children's skin color. 

I believe what Meghan and Harry are saying about racist experiences in England is true. And in my personal social media feed, comments from British people about this issue are likely to be mocking, cynical, and furious. I'm seeing Harry described as 'venemous' and Meghan as a 'grifter.' When I look at comments from Americans, I see outrage about racism and refusal to help someone in a mental health emergency. We are an ocean apart.

If the palace were to call me for an opinion, this is what I'd advise.

This situation can be saved--just like most family fights.The remedy is apology. That means the family member or the administrator who denied Meghan the freedom to leave the palace to seek medical help must come forward and admit it. Similarly, the family member who commented on Archie's skin color owns up to it, rather than let everybody else suffer the suspicion. Harry's official royal salary should be re-instated, as would the family's security service, when needed. In return for this, Harry and Meghan would continue charitable visiting appearances around the world, while keeping a private home base. There's no point in asking the British tabloids to do anything differently. 

And that's why it makes sense to stay in Montecito.