I looked long and hard to find something funny to write
about in the Greek papers. But there’s nothing out there folks. Tipota.
Unless of course you’re into gallows humor…Greece’s former
Prime Minister George Papandreou—the fellow who walked off the stage when Greece
was in crisis (something it’s not out of yet by a long-shot)—would like to come
back to save the country. I never realized before his resemblance to Rodney “ I
don’t get no respect” Dangerfield.
Though I think he’s more likely drawing his political
inspiration from watching Richard Nixon’s 1962 “you won’t have Nixon to kick around
anymore” speech, a promise he reneged on to become US President in 1968.
And that folks ends the comedy portion of this post.
My question of the day is, prior to this week, had anyone
out there ever heard of—let alone know what is—“rectal feeding?”
It’s emerged (I know, ugh) from one of those seminal
political events that will revolutionize crime writing.
For thriller and spy writers, a whole new vocabulary to
jiggle around, new CIA transgressions to build upon, cover-ups galore, and
enough complicity across the political spectrum to make the most hard-boiled
noir fan lose hope at any happy ending. Ever.
And paranormal writers, you’ll have to pick up your game,
too, because those of you thinking you could put Armageddon out there in the
year 2525, please recalibrate your calendars.
Traditional, cozy lovers, I suggest you stay cuddled up in
the den with your favorite books, and not dare watch TV, listen to the radio,
scan the Internet, or read a paper, for these are not your times.
Police procedural fans, those of you who like it when your
favorite cop’s investigation is shut down at some crucial point by Department
of Justice meddlers, will find a spike in those opportunities, but it will take
fantasy writers to finish off the work if justice (with a small “j”) is to
prevail in the end.
So, whom have I missed? Let’s see…Vampires (see “rectal feeding”),
True Crime (read the New York Times),
Private Eyes (they’re newspaper reporters today), Romance (everybody’s getting
screwed), and Historicals (I pray you’re around to write about these times).
Farcical mystery writers, start hammering away. You’re our
only hope.
Next week is Christmas.
I’ll be happier then. Unless I learn Santa Claus was water-boarded, too.
Yes, there's actually such a cartoon out there.
Jeff—Saturday
