Elmo Made Me Do It

 

 

Saturday–Jeff

 

On Monday, Sesame Street’s beloved Elmo posted these nine simple words on his X account:

 

“Elmo is just checking in! How is everybody doing?”

 

The response was beyond anything Elmo could have imagined. So much so, that Elmo released this follow-up message:

 

“Wow! Elmo is glad he asked! Elmo learned it is important to ask a friend how they are doing.”

 

By Thursday, those two messages had attracted 300 million views, generated an overwhelming response of “not great,” and triggered a huge discussion into mental health needs––some so dark that Sesame Street released a message directing users to mental health resources.

 

Nightly news broadcasts focused loud and long on Elmo and his message…a serendipitous benefit that momentarily pushed off the airways and ethernet the media’s relentless focus on the parade of horribles that gave Elmo’s message its universal traction.

 

But this post is not about any of that. It’s about offering additional momentary relief to those of us who would prefer to laugh than cry.  So here you are, twenty (PG-rated) jokes culled from the top ten best jokes from 2023’s Edinburgh Film Festival (as appeared in The Guardian, with credit given to their creators #1-10)), and another ten from Buzzfeed (#11-20) in ALL CAPS.

 

Edinburgh Fringe Festival

So, here we go.

 

1.    I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah. (Lorna Rose Treen) 

 

2.    The most British thing I’ve ever heard? A lady who said ‘Well I’m sorry, but I don’t apologize.’ (Liz Guterbock) 

 

3.    Last year I had a great joke about inflation. But it’s hardly worth it now. (Amos Gill)

 

4.    When women gossip we get called bitchy; but when men do it’s called a podcast. (Sikisa)

 

5.  I thought I’d start off with a joke about The Titanic – just to break the ice. (Masai Graham) 

 

6. How do coeliac Germans greet each other? Gluten tag. (Frank Lavender) 

 

7. My friend got locked in a coffee place overnight. Now he only ever goes into Starbucks, not the rivals. He’s Costa-phobic. (Roger Swift) 

 

8. I entered the ‘How not to surrender’ competition and I won hands down. (Bennett Arron) 

 

     9.      Nationwide must have looked pretty silly when they opened their first branch. (William Stone) 

 

    10.     My grandma describes herself as being in her ‘twilight years’ which I love because they’re great films. (Daniel Foxx)

11.     "My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas."

12.     "What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing. It just let out a little...wine."

13.     "Who was the roundest knight in King Arthur's court? Sir Cumference."

14.     "It’s never safe to drop wordplay around a kleptomaniac, because they’re always taking things literally."

15.     "What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."

16.     "A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O.'"

17.     "What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter."

18.     "A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, 'How?'"

19.     "Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."

20.     "Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."

 

Thanks, Elmo, and keep up the good fight.

 

––Jeff

Jeff’s AT ANY COST Events

2024

All Live Events

Thursday, February 8, 7:00 p.m. MT
The Poisoned Pen Bookstore
Author Speaking and Signing
Scottsdale, AZ

Saturday, February 10, 2:00 p.m. PT
Book Carnival
Author Speaking and Signing
Orange, CA

Thursday, February 15, 7:00 p.m. PT
Third Place Books
Author Speaking and Signing
Lake Forest Park, WA

Saturday, February 17, 2:00 p.m. CT
Hellenic American Women’s Council
Lincolnwood Public Library
Author Speaking and Signing
4000 Pratt Avenue
Lincolnwood, IL

Wednesday, February 21, 6:00 p.m. ET
Mysterious Bookshop
Author Speaking and Signing
New York, NY

Friday, February 23, 7:00 p.m. ET
Mystery Lovers Bookshop
Author Speaking and Signing
Pittsburgh, PA

Thursday, February 29, 7:00 p.m. PT
Vroman’s Bookstore
Author Speaking and Signing
Pasadena, CA

Saturday, March 9, 3:00 p.m. CT
Murder By The Book
Author Speaking and Signing
Houston, TX