Monday, June 6, 2022

My Conflict With a Dictator

Annamaria on Monday


 

If, based on the title of this post, you are expecting another of my treatises on the decay of American democracy, you might be disappointed. More likely, you are going to be relieved that I am taking up a completely different topic.

 

Here’s the story: when my battle with pain began in April 2021, my blog me and good friend Stan trollop suggested that I dictate rather than type.   I was certain that dictating the first draft of fiction would be impossible for me. But I thought I could find ways to dictate emails and maybe even blog posts. Since then, I have been trying to use the Dictation app as much as possible. It has it’s convenient moment, but also it behaves in such a way that it requires quite a bit of computer time just to get things right. The app and I have learned to get along better as time goes on, but not entirely.

 

This foregoing paragraph is a prime example.  I put it in italics because it contains many mistakes.  I carefully pronounced the words, but the app, as usual, has a mind of its own.

 

The thing I hate most about the dictation feature is that it seems to want to sneak in mistakes.  As I dictate, I watch as the words appear on the screen and charge ahead if the app has getting things right.  But when I go back to proofread, I find that it has changed its mind after the fact and replaced something that was, at first, correct with something that is wrong.  Prime example from the above: When I said “Stan Trollip,” it wrote Stanley Trollip. Okay I thought, if you want to be more formal, have it your way. Then, when I went back to read the whole paragraph, I found it as you see it above. It makes me want to scream.


 

Dictating is hell on wheels when it comes to homophones. For instance, when I was trying to get it to type the word “piece,” it typed “peace.”  Silly me, I thought if the word was preceded by “a” the app would get it right.  When it didn’t, I tried spelling out the word I wanted.  I persisted, repeating the word. I confess that I yelled it a couple of times.  Here verbatim is what the app produced:

 

Peace peace PRECE peace lowercase PIECE peace new paragraph

 

GRRRR!!

 

For first drafts of fiction, I have been sitting down with pen and paper and then reading what I wrote into the computer.  The result still requires an enormous amount of correction.

 

Sometimes, I have to admit, the app is amusing.  For instance…

 

My character said, “She is benign.”

The app typed, “She is B9.”

 

I described a piece of furniture as “expansive.”

The app called it “expensive.”


My character filled a soup bowl.

In the app’s version, the character filled a Super Bowl.



 
 

My character put down his spoon

The app’s character put down his “phone,” a pretty amazing trick for a man at lunch in 1692.

 

My characters had a “tale to tell”

The app imagined them “tail to tail”

 

I think I’ll just leave you with that thought!

16 comments:

  1. On the optimistic side, maybe this will turn your new novel into the next Ulysses... Wait, no, that might not be a good thing.

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    1. What Kwei said. We are coming up on Bloom’s Day, but I think you have to more than my genetically established 1% Irish to write like that, even by accident!

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  2. Is there not a setting option which eliminates or reduces its autocorrect features?

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    1. I love you, my friend, but PLEASE don’t talk to me about settings and preferences. I believe they are inventions of the SSSE, the Society of Sadistic Software Engineers. Their motto: Nobody but us will understand anything

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  3. Did it transcribe your “GRRR"? 😀

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  4. If that were true, Kwei, there would GRRRRRs all over every page I write.

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  5. Dictating this response to you Ana Maria is quite funny. I dictate messages but find trying to dictate anything of any link is hopeless. I spend more time going back to correct what the app thinks I should be saying then actually doing any writing. So I sympathise andI agree with your comment on that society. And I see that I am responding anonymously and I am told that if I do that I won’t be able to correct or change it at all. So I’m going to publish it now and see what happens. Best from the other side of the world New Zealand, Judithhb

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  6. Oh Judith, how you made me laugh and proved my point at the same time. I would love to compare notes on the differences between how the blasted thing wrecks our words given your Kiwi and my NYC accents!!

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  7. I would have though you'd see the optimistic side of dictation -- you have something to blame for bad spelling.

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    1. Oh, boohoo, Stan. You, from our work together on Sunshine Noir, understand that my bad spelling is neurological. You are taking the place of the mentor and professor of my youth, Sister Mary Catharine O’Connor. She also always gave me points off for bad spelling. Come to think of it she actually resembled you.

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    2. Ooooh, two cuts with one swing of the very sharp blade...

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    3. Note to self: don't mention spelling or computer software.

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  8. I see, Stan, that even though Blogger is forcing me to comment as Anonymous, you knew it was me. I wonder how!

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  9. Personally, Sis, I find battling with spell checks a blood spo®t. Largely mine.

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  10. Haha, good fun. I can imagine what such an app would make of me dictating in Danish as we are famous for mumbling, not pronouncing the last 2/3 of every word and stuff like that... maybe I should try...

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