Friday, December 31, 2021

Happy New Year

 Scotland  should be gearing up for one of the biggest celebrations in the calendar.

But we are not- restricted to three households, no unnecessary travel, no mixing. Not much of anything really. 


Even the football which is a huge thing at this time of year has been curtailed to 500 people in the crowd. Imagine the superbowl restricted to 500 spectators.

The Ne'er Day Old Firm Match is a highlight of the season. And it has been ruined.
It's outdoors, nobody is allowed to be drunk, and how did they arrive at the number 500?

Somebody likes to spoil the fun, that's why.

All the fireworks displays have been cancelled.

All the ceilidhs have been cancelled.

There'll be no hooching and tooching this year into next. 

If it were normal, we would be having a ceilidh- a dance with lots of swirling kilts,  drink, burling around and physical violence vaguely disguised as dancing. 

Swimming in the loony dook ( jumping into cold water by mad people) is gaining popularity. I think it started near Edinburgh, folk get together at mid day on Ne'er Day and jump in freezing cold water.

You'd think the ER was busy enough.

And the first person over your threshold  after midnight has to be male, tall and dark. This proves they are not a Viking.


The first footer should carry  shortbread and a lump of coal, and/or their drink of choice.
Nobody ever first foots empty handed. Or should that be empty footied?

Redding the house.  The house should be cleaned, the windows opened to let the old year out and the new year in.  I open the windows.

Don't think I've cleaned the house since Biden was  in short trousers.

Ashes should be cleared from the fire before The Bells.

The fire should be set and then set alight after The Bells.

You can see where the lump of coal might come in useful.

People sing Auld Lang Syne, crossing arms on the final verse and not before.    The dinner  is always steak pie, the queues outside the butchers shops today are long and 'round the corner.'  No covid restrictions there.    At The Bells the TV is absolutely awful, a very twee type of 'Scottishness' that Billy Connolly aptly called Dancing Shortbread Tins.

After all that, we can sit down in front of the fire with a glass of Advocaat,  Which is drunk at no other time of the year. It only takes one sip for you to realise why.

Happy New Year to you all,  may your  murders be plenty and prosperous!

Greetings from Bonnie Scotland,



  1. Ho, Ho, Ho. There's a certain special joy you bring to the party...or even a non-party...and for that Barbara and I wish you and Alan the very best in 2022 and far, far beyond.

  2. Sco, Sco, Sco. Merry old Scotland, where would the world be widdoutcha?