Friday, December 18, 2020

Chortlesome; because we need it!


The land of the Celts is not good. Covid rates are rising, the days are short and dark, and Santa maybe curtailed by the three households from the same tier for two days out of five if there’s a z in the month rule.

So here’s a blog to  raise a titter. These are genuine answers to exam questions  by kids who, as the Aussies would say ‘ have the smarts.’

Not the answer- just the smarts!

Here are some from the world of science-

What is a nitrate?

Cheaper than a day rate.

Give a brief explanation of  the term hard water.


What is the process for the separation a mixture of chalk and sand?


Name the process where steam turns to water.


What is methane?

Methane is a smelly greenhouse gas which is produced when trees and cows are burned.


Over the last fifty years there has been a significant change in the concentration of carbon dioxide. Give a reason for this-

It’s easily distracted.


Explain vibration.

There are good and bad vibrations. Good vibrations were discovered in the sixties.


 Adam cuts his arm and blood rushes out. The blood is red. What does this show?

That adam is not a robot.


What is a fibula?

 A little lie?

Explain the term varicose

Close by.


State a type of fungu, and explain one characteristic feature.

The bogey man. He is green.


Explain what happens to the human body as it ages?

When you get old your organs work less effectively and you can go intercontinental.


Explain the process of male puberty.

He says goodbye to childhood and enters adultery.


Give an example of smoking related disease

Early death.


What is a plasmid?

 A  hi definition tv?


Explain the concept of homeostasis.

 It’s when you stay at home all day and don’t go out.

In the Hawaiian islands there are nearly 500 species of fruit fly. Give a reason for this

 There are nearly 500 species of fruit.


Explain the word ‘genome’

It’s a abbreviation of the words gender and gnome.


What is a fossil?

A fossil is the remains of a extinct animal. The older the fossil, the more extinct the animal.


What happens in the body when taking a breath?

 The chest gets bigger.


Steve is driving his car at 60 feet per second. The speed limit is 40 mph. Is he speeding?

 He should check his speedo!


Is the sun or the moon more important?

The moon gives us light at night when we need it. The sun gives us light in the day when we don’t. Therefore the moon is more important.


What happened during the big bang

 A lot of noise!


Name two gases that might contribute to global warming.

Bottom gas and Cow burps


What does a transformer do?

 It can go from a robot to a dragster on three seconds.


Give three ways to reduce heat loss in your home.

 Thermal underwear,  Move to Hawaii, Close the dor


Caro Ramsay


  1. And who said there's no hope for the next generation??? (Too funny. Thanks, Caro, I needed a pick-me-up today. :-)

  2. I loved that, Caro! And I must admit you teased me into looking into the Speedo bit. Putting all the inches together was an experience, but I think I came to right conclusion.