Friday, December 11, 2020

A wee touch of the Victor Sylvestors

                                                 Boris; Brexit plan

Victor himself

There was a dance band leader back in the days when all the music was black and white called Victor Sylvestor. A wee touch of the Victor Sylvestors means that its been snowing quite hard for a fair wee while. This is because in the days of Victor sylvestor dance bands and all the young folk going to the dancing on the weekend, it was a thing to learn how to quick step etc. by buying a pattern of footsteps. 


This was in a long sheet of white paper that you unfolded on the carpet, it had black and white footmarks on it and you simply followed the numbers. It was like a sophisticated twister for below the knees. I believe these instructions sometimes came with the appropriate gramophone recording where a voice would tell you the speed to move at, and the most famous of Victor Sylvestors was slow, slow, quick, quick, slow which then becomes snow, snow, thick, thick, snow.


                                                                 Boris coronavirus plan


                                                                  UK Tier system

I promise you there is a link coming, but some years ago Doncaster City council decided to name their grit spreaders to help keep our road clear in the rare event of the one inch of snow that grinds Scotland to a standstill. The Scottish government decided to take this idea and run with it, and they’ve done a very good job of bringing something as banal as a snow gritter into the public affection. They all now have names which the public can nominate – there are rules and you can follow your favourite gritter on an interactive map as it goes about its business which normally means deployed to the A77.

So here are a few:

Gritty gritty bang bang

Sir Salter Scott


Gritty McVittie

Spready Mercury


Sir Andy Flurry



Luke Snow walker

Ready spready go


The Snow Destroyer


Ice Queen

Grit Expectations

Gangsta Granny Gritter


Sir Grits-A-Lot


Plougher O'Scotland

Gritty Gonzalez

Sandy The Solway Salter

Snowkemon Go

Slippy McGritty

For Your Ice Only


Gritteny Spears

I want to break freeze

Yes Sir, Ice can Boogey

Penelopy Grittstop

Gritter Thunberg

Mr Plow

Darth Spreader

Ploughlo Gratteeni

William Wallice

Fridge of Weir


Gerry Raffersleigh

Lew Ice Capaldi

Grittle Mix


Scotland has 208 gritters and the rules for naming them are – it can’t be too long, and it can’t be anything copyrighted by Disney as Disney seems to have no sense of humour.

I kind of like Snow Business like Snow business, but I’ll leave the last word to Billy Connolly who wanted to know how the man who drives the snow plough gets to his work in the morning.



  1. HAH! Too funny. Doubly so, because the page I was reading IMMEDIATELY before coming here was this EXACT subject, and I thought, "Alright, I spring a "Scottish Friday" surprise on Caro!" And then, I come here, and Caro's sprung the surprise on me. Sigh.

    1. I'm not sure if that fact should worry you or me but I do believe that genuises often think alike.

  2. Who would have thought that EvKa and Caro share a fancy for baby naming snow plows. Personally, I can't wait to see Luke Snow Walker and Darth Spreader embark on their next adventure to the out of this world A77.

  3. I think the snow is going to hold off until the covid restrictions are lifted so that we still can't go anywhere but for a different reason!