Saturday, December 13, 2014

In Search of Comedy

I looked long and hard to find something funny to write about in the Greek papers. But there’s nothing out there folks. Tipota. 

Unless of course you’re into gallows humor…Greece’s former Prime Minister George Papandreou—the fellow who walked off the stage when Greece was in crisis (something it’s not out of yet by a long-shot)—would like to come back to save the country. I never realized before his resemblance to Rodney “ I don’t get no respect” Dangerfield. 

Though I think he’s more likely drawing his political inspiration from watching Richard Nixon’s 1962 “you won’t have Nixon to kick around anymore” speech, a promise he reneged on to become US President in 1968.

And that folks ends the comedy portion of this post.

My question of the day is, prior to this week, had anyone out there ever heard of—let alone know what is—“rectal feeding?”

It’s emerged (I know, ugh) from one of those seminal political events that will revolutionize crime writing.

For thriller and spy writers, a whole new vocabulary to jiggle around, new CIA transgressions to build upon, cover-ups galore, and enough complicity across the political spectrum to make the most hard-boiled noir fan lose hope at any happy ending.  Ever.

And paranormal writers, you’ll have to pick up your game, too, because those of you thinking you could put Armageddon out there in the year 2525, please recalibrate your calendars.

Traditional, cozy lovers, I suggest you stay cuddled up in the den with your favorite books, and not dare watch TV, listen to the radio, scan the Internet, or read a paper, for these are not your times.

Police procedural fans, those of you who like it when your favorite cop’s investigation is shut down at some crucial point by Department of Justice meddlers, will find a spike in those opportunities, but it will take fantasy writers to finish off the work if justice (with a small “j”) is to prevail in the end.

So, whom have I missed?  Let’s see…Vampires (see “rectal feeding”), True Crime (read the New York Times), Private Eyes (they’re newspaper reporters today), Romance (everybody’s getting screwed), and Historicals (I pray you’re around to write about these times).

Farcical mystery writers, start hammering away. You’re our only hope.

Next week is Christmas.  I’ll be happier then. Unless I learn Santa Claus was water-boarded, too.

Yes, there's actually such a cartoon out there.



  1. You forgot about science fiction (but then, with the incoming GOP controlled Senate, there's little likelihood of any science happening, though plenty of fiction will be written into law).

    Speaking of "end times," the cut-off for early registration at LCC (no, not Last Crime Conference, but rather Left Coast Crime) 2015 is Dec 31st. LCC 2015 is March 12-15 in Portland Oregon. Registration is $175 through Dec 31st, but goes up to $195 thereafter, and hotel rooms at the convention hotel are disappearing fast, so if you (reader, writer, or torture victim) are thinking of attending, save yourself $20 and commuting headaches and register soon! (No, I'm not affiliated with the convention, although I *am* attending, I'm just trying to be helpful. I know, I know, me?)

    Speaking of which, a number of MIE folks appear to be attending, so is there going to be an MIE get-together at some point?

  2. Thanks for posting the notice about LCC, Everett. It's one of my favorite writing festivals and I'll certainly be there this year as its guest of honor is none other than...flourish of coronets and strumpets...TIM HALLINAN.

  3. Gallows humor, I think. You have much to write about in the next four years.