You’d think that with this being my first post since
arriving back on Mykonos I could come up with a catchier title. But if you have to ask why that title you’re obviously not keeping up with our world’s major
news events. For weeks now my inbox has
been filled with Google Alerts for “Mykonos” linked to a public relations blitzkrieg
hyping the “secret” invasion and occupation of Mykonos by the Kardashian Klan for
the purpose of filming this season’s opening episode of their addictive (so I hear)
American TV show, Keeping Up With the
Kardashians.
It appears that momma Kris and her Kardashian brood—Kourtney,
Kim, Khloe, Kyle, Kendall, and Rob (now deceased first husband Robert’s
contribution to the naming process)—plus kids from the first marriage of her kurrent
husband, 1976 Olympic Decathlon champion Bruce Jenner, all kame to Mykonos as
part of the last big breakout before very pregnant daughter Kim has her baby next
month.
If you believed even a bit of all the press hype, the
Kardashians had come to save the island, bringing their celebrity and cash to a
struggling land somehow overlooked by CARE. I’d reluctantly left the US in its time
of crisis—the seventeen-year cicada onslaught—but now would stand shoulder to
shoulder with my Mykonian brethren in facing their own.
 |
| Thanks to my friend, Nick Desavvi, for the photos |
But I’d forgotten something: Mykonians were used to
invaders. Carians, Egyptians,
Phoenicians, Minoans, Ionians, Athenians, Macedonians, Romans, Venetians,
Turks, Russians, and Germans all dominated Mykonos at some point. So, more “ians” invading was no big deal.
 |
| The Mayor of Mykonos in the middle |
The mayor courteously welcomed them to the island, the
people smiled and made them feel important, the weather and sea accommodated
them. No one told them that the two
villas they’d obtained were only five hundred yards from the municipal sewage
treatment plant and three houses away from the scene of the murder that inspired
the opening of my new book (more on that later), that breaking plates in
restaurants was déclassé, or that they'd arrived a month too early for the island's fabled nightlife action. The Mykonian
people allowed them to enjoy their holiday and live out their fantasy—even one
as big as saving an island.
The Mykonians behaved precisely as they do with all
visitors: as the most hospitable people on earth. And the Kardashians will undoubtedly return,
albeit truly in secret (as some of their crew has before).
Frankly, it’s easy to take cheap shots at the Kardashian phenomenon.
After all, the most celebrated
accomplishments of the family before the launch of their reality show were daughter
Kim’s time as a stylist and personal shopper for Lindsay Lohan (an unreal
living reality in her own right) and her leaked homemade sex video with rapper
Ray J, though she’s since had a 72-day marriage to NBA player Kris Humphries
and is currently pregnant at the hands of her ex(?)-boyfriend, rapper Kanye
West.
BUT, let’s keep something in mind: These folks are PR
geniuses. And I admire them for that.
Their show alone has brought them more than a hundred million dollars and
they’ve branched into fashion and cosmetics. And in connection with that leaked
video, Kim received a reported five million dollar settlement. By the way, Kim has more than 8,000,000
twitter followers. Yes, EIGHT MILLION.
Which reminds me. In
case you’re reading this, Kim, I’d sincerely appreciate it if you could tweet
to your followers that Poisoned Pen Press just surprised me by putting my first
Andreas Kaldis mystery, MURDER IN MYKONOS, on sale this week in e-book format
for $0.99 on Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Kobu, PLUS they’re rolling
out a brand new cover design for my entire series. The new covers are not yet
up on bookseller sites, but it’s a variation on the cover for my new book in
the series (#5), MYKONOS AFTER MIDNIGHT, coming in September. What do you think
of the cover, Kim? I love it for one very obvious Kardashian-like reason☺. One’s never too old to learn from the masters.
By the way, tomorrow is Greek Orthodox Easter, a wonderful
time that I’ve written about before. It represents all the very best of Greek
family life and values. And the Kardashians have left the island for Santorini.
Kalo Paska, my friends.
Jeff—Saturday
Posts
I kan't stand any more of this Kardashian krap! But thanks for setting the record straight. May I add to the rumors, one substantiated by a friend with reliable track record, that when this klan arrived on Santorini earlier this week on the 100 meter yacht kindly loaned to them by a member of a well known jewellery designer, they took every monogrammed towel and bathrobe in sight. Such nice people, and since they seem to be so poor, probably didn't have any towels back home in their Beverly Hills row house! Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say.
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous, I thank you for showing the discretion not to repeat some of the other rumors I'm certain you've heard in recent days on Mykonos...both of and beyond the Kardashians:)
DeleteKalo Paska, J.
Jeff, you have robbed me of my most exclusive distinction. Until I read this post, I was the only person on the planet who did not know what a Kardashian was. Oh, I had heard the name and surmised from the context that it was connected with a trashy person having something to do with television, which I never watch. I knew the person spoken of was female, but I had had no idea there was more than one of them. Now that I know all about them, I am seriously displeased. I would wish you Kalo Paska, but not before I receive an apology.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, Annamaria my love, I'm still not sure what one is. I just report the news as it's "created." But I'm deeply sorry for robbing you of your innocence---no matter how much fun the experience:).
DeleteI have a bone to pick with you, Jeffrey! [finger wagging in face] You've denigrated, deprecated, defiled and otherwise all-but-defecated upon a fine, fine, FINE letter: 'K'. I take umbrage. I take aspirin. I take a nap.
ReplyDeleteOh. And that's WAY too much for Kim to tweet. Even assuming she can read and can operate a keyboard or touchscreen (I think all of her tweets are actually ghost-written by a one-eyed, one-legged, once-witted ex-pat living in the Mediterranean), you've got to be BRIEF, man! 142 characters. WAY too many characters. I'd think you'd know better. Being a novelist. And all that. You lost me at "The Kardashians..." I REFUSE to read, hear or speak that name. Ever. I didn't even read your article. Pure clap-trap. I'm sure. I mean, I'd think so. If I'd read it. Which I didn't. White trash pablum. Worthless.
EIGHT million, you say? Whoa. We're in WAY bigger trouble than I thought... Maybe I need to find a nice tropical island to move to?
Mr. KKKKKKK, it doesn't matter if you didn't read it, because I didn't write it! My keyboard was possessed by a passing dybbuk from Pasadena.
Delete142 characters is an accurate number if we're talking about the total characters in the, uhh--two letters before M-- ardashian entourage, and I seriously thought of doing that little bit of BSP in my post along the lines of a proper tweet going something like this :#Kim #Kardashian klaims K-klan kompletely krazy 4 killer kouple kaptivating #Kyklades #Kindles: MURDER IN MYKONOS AND #MYKONOS AFTER MIDNIGHT."
But having brought what I already had upon an innocent world, I simply couldn't bring myself to take things any further...unless of course I thought she might actually tweet it.
ackKKKKK... STOP! You're kompletely and kruelly killing me!!!!!
DeleteOK, K!
DeleteI loved it! Although I still find myself wondering what a Kardashian is. They are fame for being famous, I see, and they do spend a lot of money, which is good. But stealing towels? How declassee. By the way, you might try a post using a lot of M's. I'm looking forward to Mykonos After Midnight. Enjoy your time. It is good to hear you from Mykonos.
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure, Lil, glad to be back here too! On the spending side of the Kardashian equation, rumor has it that it wasn't all that much. It's said they were comped for much of what they did...in exchange for publicity on their show. But who knows. Better yet, who cares?
ReplyDeleteYou will care when eight million of the l<ardashians' sincere admirers descend on Myl<anos, wall< around lool<ing trashy and make off everything that isn't tied down. Oh, and by the way, l<alo Pasl<a, now that I have gotten my apology. Typed carefully not to further offend Everett an anyone else whose name begins with l<, which ordinarily inklude me. Ooops!
DeleteU R 2 l<vtε!!!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteDear Jeff thanks for the update on the lovely island. Kalo Pascha, and kali anastasi. The winds have already blown (away) whatever Kim missed, one trusts. Am so sure that Mykonos can survive even more. Let me guess, it was a well known jeweler with a K?
ReplyDeleteKalo Paska to you, too, Giannis. You're very welcome and, yes, the K-crew is but a distant memory except perhaps to that monogram pilfered jeweler, K or otherwise:)
DeleteWHY WHY WHY MYKONOS??? WHY COULDN'T THEY JUST GO TO RHODES OR SANTORINI ONLY, WHY CORRUPT THE BEST ISLAND IN THE SEA???? Mykonos has been my best kept secret for close to 20 years, now everyone will know about it, YUK YUK YUK
ReplyDeletethanks Kimye
p.S. LOVED
ReplyDeleteMurder in Mykonos, picked it up last year!
Thanks, Kimye Anonymous, for your kind words about MIM. I think our island might still have the chance of receding back into the mist if the recent experience of two Greek friends of mine visiting Austin, Texas is any measure. The two were in a taxi talking to each other n Greek when the driver asked where they were from. They said, "Greece," and the driver said, "Isn't that up by Alaska?" They couldn't wait to get back here to tell this American that tale.
Delete