I saw a great article about what makes a good Christmas song.
I am aware what makes a good Eurovision hit - start and end with chorus and have words in there that are understood all over the countries in receipt of the European Transmission signal. In the 1960’s that was about six countries in Europe, but now, it’s the entire world.
The greatest Eurovision songs by sales are Volare, Dancing Queen and err… Save all Your Kisses For Me.
My friend and I have often dreamed of penning the ideal Eurosong- it would called Hey Joe, Where’s my taxi.
Anyhoos as we say in this part of the European Transmission Signal Receipt zone.
We are well in the Christmas Music Time zone, and arguments rage over what’s best, what’s worse but that can easily change with introduction of alcohol, length of time standing in the queue etc.
The top ten of the worse in the UK are
Wonderful Christmastime – Paul McCartney Cheesy. dated and lacking in sophistication. Constantly in the most disliked top ten. But also number 6 on the best list! Did McCartney ever pen a bad ditty. Scrambled egg, how I love to eat my Scrambled egg…. Was how Yesterday started life.
Do They Know It’s Christmas? – Band Aid. Does it now have questionable lyrics: the song has been called patronizing and culturally tone-deaf. It’s also number 4 on the favourite list. This song has raised £250 million dollars in its various incarnations since the chimes of doom first clanged.
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Mistletoe – Justin Bieber. One of the worst. And appears on a lot of lists of the worst! I’ve never heard it. I think I might be one of the lucky ones.
Last Christmas – Wham! Overplayed so it makes the worst list. It’s also number 3 the favourite list. George Michael’s hair getting curly in the video because of the snow. The snowball fight. The festive dinner. The fact that they were all good pals in the video. The fact that George is no longer with us, and the day of his passing. Quite sad.
All I Want for Christmas Is You – Mariah Carey, also number 2 on the most favourite list. I think the song has a lot going on.
Fairytale of New York – The Pogues feat. Kirsty MacColl. Appears in the top slot as the most favourite also. Both Shane and Kirsty have passed now. A difficult song to drum says my other half.
Naughty Christmas (Goblin in the Office) – Fat Les. Can’t comment as I’ve never heard it and ditto with Mr Blobby’s Christmas Song – Mr Blobby but I can imagine the horror of both.
Slade with Merry Xmas Everybody is at number 5 of the best songs and doesn’t appear on the worst list because everybody loves it. Noddy Holder has always said that he had no idea he was writing his pension. What was it? Christmas 73 or 74? I got the 7 “ single for my Christmas that year. My first ever record. I still have it.
Next of the best, not appearing on the worst list is Wizzard with I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday. You can hear that Phil Spector influence all over it. And it’s quite easy to drum. It gets everybody up on the dance floor.
Number 8 on the best list - Happy Xmas (War Is Over ) By John Lennon & Yoko Ono. A grand sentiment.
Number 9 is Step Into Christmas by Mr Elton John. It sounds very unelton.
And number 10 is Driving Home for Christmas – Chris Rea. What a great feel good song. Really conveys the frustration of being caught in a traffic jam while the artic roll slowly defrosts in the back of the car.
I do have the LP of the Phil Spector’s Christmas Album. Santa Claus is coming to town and all that. Are we still allowed to like Phil Spector? The wall of sound.
My favourite Christmas song…. I think it would have to be….. Greg Lake. I believe in Father Christmas. Not Gregg Lake, I think that’s place!
And I will leave you to your felicitations. And the earworm of the instrumental middle third of Greg Lake's masterpiece. Sorry about that. If you really want to---here's the link.
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