This ole house

The way we buy and sell houses in Scotland is very sensible.

I am seeing an estate agent today about the sale of a property I used to live in before I moved where I am now. I’ve lived in three houses in the village. If I shouted really loudly, we could all communicate- like the way folk yodel through the Alps. The yodelling could be useful as the mobile phone signal here is useless. I have to hang out the window to use the moby. And we only have internet at the front of the house.

The back of the house, with the spire of the church peeking through the trees.

This tree didn't fall on the roof during the storm.

There's a gap like a missing tooth on the other side of the garden.

Huge fireplace.

That's a big chair so really high ceilings.

I've a book called how to play chess in 20 minutes.

I've had it for 40 years and still can't play.

A lovely old Singer sewing machine.

Writing room anybody?

Reading corner

Suntrap...!!

I used to sit on this window ledge. The window opens like a door so you can almost sit on the roof and look over the village.

It's not only people who get photoshopped.....

Here he is in real life....too much whiskey, too much fine wine...

Spanky the ring leader... 

So, here’s how we sell houses.

The internet says that ‘the house buying process follows a system to designed to provide ‘efficiency and transparency’. I’d say that used to be the case, once the deal had been agreed, even verbally – that was that’  - no gazumping as they do down south, but things are changing a little.

When I bought the house I am in now, all the interested parties had to get individual surveys. Now, the vendor gets a Home Report, which is like a state of health report on the house, plus an Energy Performance Certificate (EPC)  and a Property Questionnaire with additional information, such as council tax band and any alterations made to the property, any burdens on the property, and for my village… any mining underneath.

 While the vendor is doing that, the buyer gets a mortgage in principle. In the bad old days, before 2008, it was possible (but not sensible) to get a loan for 6x or 7x their annual salary. Much tighter controls exist now.

We must appoint a solicitor early in the process; they do all the work, the estate agent really just sells the property.

The estate agent will advise me, and we decide on an ‘offers over ‘ price. If we get lots of viewers and there are lots of ‘notes of interest’  (when one solicitor says to the other ‘my client is very interested so keep me posted on any developments’ ) we will then ‘go to closing’. The solicitor says all bids should be in by 12 noon Friday.  At 11.59 bids are emailed in. In the old days it was the opening of envelopes. The solicitor advises the vendor of the monies offered and the position of that purchaser. I didn’t make the highest bid when I bought this house, the vendor was a writer and knew me, and that I was ‘chain free’.  Other potential buyers wanted to turn the house into flats, ( that would need planning permission which is very expensive) and others found out about Agnes the poltergeist and withdrew. I knew about her in advance so I was okay with that.

If there is little interest, the property can be put on at a fixed price which can be useful for those who have bid many times, and ran up big bills with the solicitor, but keep getting pipped at the post. First secure offer of X gets the property.

The missives are concluded and the transaction becomes legally binding, reducing the risk of gazumping. In my previous experience, missives get exchanged quite early on so you can go round and measure up for curtains and carpets before the move in date. Now, I believe missives are exchanged minutes before the keys get handed over so the risk of a vendor accepting a higher bid, or a purchaser pulling out is greater than it used to be,

Once missives are exchanged, the title deeds are transferred and everybody moves. Or as we call it, ‘flitting’.

The house I’m selling is quite unusual as you see in the pictures, not everybody’s cup of tea. It’s called Kirklea East, as it lies in the lea of the kirk – the shadow of the church. It was the house of the main estate worker so it has lovely high ceilings and big fireplaces, all rather grand. The upper floor of the house is the size of the living room.

 And the church bells do ring at 11 am  every Sunday.

 And William Wallace was born at the bottom of the garden.

 What more could you want?