Just sayin'

 

 There's a item in the newspapers and social media today about some Christmas  Hallmark Netflix hit, something about Brooke Shields  buying a  castle in Scotland and the locals walking around saying very un Scottish things.  This has led to the usual  professional ranters  on Facebook  saying it's racist and  condescending.   Like we should expect  Hallmark Christmas programmes to be documentaries.  Do they eat that many gingerbread men in Maine? I have no idea.

So here are some sayings that were listed at Scottish, but I doubt they are. How many have made it across the Atlantic? And what's your version of the sentiment....

 1) Your face is tripping you.    You look somewhat unhappy.

2)   I'll skelp your lug!             You need a slap.

 3) I'll give you something to greet about.       

4)  Ye cannae teach yer Granny tae suck eggs.

 5) Gonne see a man about a dug.       To be going about your business - or to the loo!

 6) Do you think I button up the back?         Think I'm daft?

7)  Don't talk mince         Don't talk rubbish. Val McDermid does a thing where she replaces one word in a book title with the word mince. Try it when not quite drunk. It's hysterical.

8)   Where you born on a farm?    Close the door.

9)   It's like Blackpool Illuminations in here.   Turn some lights off.

10) The big light .  The in the  middle of the room. It's a 'thing'.  Oh to see that. I'd need to put the big light on.  This seems to be a drama.

 11) Running about like a blue a***d fly .....

 12)  Geein' me the boke .... to provoke a feeling of nausea

 13) Heids up ma arse  .. having so much to do, you meet yourself coming backwards

 14)  Yer bum’s oot the windae.......   Your head is full of nonsense.....

15) Yer arse is parsley       see above

16) They couldny run a bath         a useless individual

 17)  And what did your last slave die of?       Get somebody else to do it.

18)   I'm no as green as I am cabbage lookin'     

19)  Gie it some welly    .... put some effort into it

20)  Look at the nick of ye!           you are not looking your best at the moment

21)    The sweat's running down the sheuch of my arse 

22)  Would you steal my grave as quick.    When somebody sits in your seat the minute you stand up.

 23)  What's for ye’ll no go by ye 

 24) Is the budgiedeid?    for some reason this means that your trousers are too short.  Another one is 'Are you paying for your trousers by instalments?'

 25) You're ripping ma knitting ..... when somebody is being a tad irritating

 26) I'm up tae high doe   .... stressed out your head.

 27)  Away an bile yer heid .      Go away until you can talk sense.

 28) Yer a long time deid 

 29)  Taste  your words before you spit them out 

30)  Ah’ve seen mair meat on a butchers pencil

Caro Ramsay