With Apologies to Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Jeff--Saturday

I think it’s fair to say that this past week has been an interesting one. What happens next is a mystery yet to be written. For those of you who can’t wait, I’ve taken a shot at expressing my views on the situation by fracturing Alfred, Lord Tennyson’s, The Charge of the Light Brigade.   A word of explanation. My reference to the “brave five-five” is to the approximate percentage of eligible voters who vote in US Presidential elections.

I

Half a year, half a year,

Half a year forward,

To face the Valet of Dearth

   Strode the brave five-five.

“Forward, Our Right Brigade!

Urge for the guns!” NRA said.

On to the Valet of Dearth

   Strode the brave five-five.

II

“Forward, Our Right Brigade!”

Had someone been misled?

Not that a voter knew

   Someone had blundered.

   But had not made amends,

   Theirs not to reason why,

   Theirs but to vote and sigh.

   All for the Valet of Dearth

   Strode the brave five-five.

III

Fox to right of them,

MSNBC to left of them,

CNN in front of them

   Walleyed and sundered;

Informed neither true or well,

Boldly they strode yet fell,

Victim to claims of Dearth,

Spewed by a mouth of swill

   Strode the brave five-five.

IV

Flashed promises raged bare,

Flashed all across the air

Selling tales so unfair,

Waging war on truth, while

   All the world wondered.

Plunged in the mirrors and smoke

Of false lines they’d heard spoke,

Of Ukraine and Russian

Reeled from a civic stroke

   Shattered and asunder.

Will they stride back, or not

   Our brave five-five.

V

Anger to right of them,

Despair to left of them,

Truth lost behind them

   Humbled and plundered;

Denied those who could tell,

While the true heroes fell.

They who had fought so well

Against Valet of Dearth,

Down to its gates of hell.

It’s now all up to them,

   The brave five-five.

VI

There’s glory to be made.

A wild charge to be played!

   And honor to revive.

If every man and maid,

Cast votes not to degrade.

   Noble brave five-five!

And here’s the original:

I

Half a league, half a league,

Half a league onward,

All in the valley of Death

   Rode the six hundred.

“Forward, the Light Brigade!

Charge for the guns!” he said.

Into the valley of Death

   Rode the six hundred.

II

“Forward, the Light Brigade!”

Was there a man dismayed?

Not though the soldier knew

   Someone had blundered.

   Theirs not to make reply,

   Theirs not to reason why,

   Theirs but to do and die.

   Into the valley of Death

   Rode the six hundred.

III

Cannon to right of them,

Cannon to left of them,

Cannon in front of them

   Volleyed and thundered;

Stormed at with shot and shell,

Boldly they rode and well,

Into the jaws of Death,

Into the mouth of hell

   Rode the six hundred.

IV

Flashed all their sabres bare,

Flashed as they turned in air

Sabring the gunners there,

Charging an army, while

   All the world wondered.

Plunged in the battery-smoke

Right through the line they broke;

Cossack and Russian

Reeled from the sabre stroke

   Shattered and sundered.

Then they rode back, but not

   Not the six hundred.

V

Cannon to right of them,

Cannon to left of them,

Cannon behind them

   Volleyed and thundered;

Stormed at with shot and shell,

While horse and hero fell.

They that had fought so well

Came through the jaws of Death,

Back from the mouth of hell,

All that was left of them,

   Left of six hundred.

VI

When can their glory fade?

O the wild charge they made!

   All the world wondered.

Honour the charge they made!

Honour the Light Brigade,

   Noble six hundred!

—Jeff

Jeff's 2020 Speaking Engagements and Signings (in formation):

Friday, March 13, 10:15AM

San Diego, CA

LEFT COAST CRIME—San Diego Marriott Mission Valley—(Sierra 5-6)

Moderating “Tipping the Scales: The criminal justice system,” with Teresa Burrell, Keenan Powell, L.F. Robertson, and Karen Stefano.

Saturday, March 14, 2:45PM

San Diego, CA

LEFT COAST CRIME—San Diego Marriott Mission Valley—(Rio Vista F-H)

Panelist, “Murder Goes Global: International Mysteries and Thrillers,” with Annamaria Alfieri, Ana Manwaring, and Greg Randall, moderated by Jane Stillwater.

Monday, March 16, 2020, 11AM-2PM

Saddlebrooke, Arizona 85739

FRIENDS OF SADDLEBROOKE LIBRARIES 

30th Anniversary Authors Luncheon

SaddleBrooke Clubhouse

40010 S. Ridgeview Blvd.

Author Speaking and Signing

Thursday, June 4--Sunday, June 7, 2020

BRISTOL, UK

CRIMEFEST—Mercure Bristol Grand Hotel

Panels yet to be announced 

Thursday, October 15—Sunday, October 18

SACRAMENTO, CA

BOUCHERCON

Panels yet to be announced