Thursday, January 18, 2018

The red penis

Stanley - Thursday

Taylor Mali is a slam poet and a damn good one, and, although he doesn’t know it, he’s going to be my guest today.   On his website, he says it’s alright to use his material without permission.  So, it’s without contrition that I’ve lifted the work below, because it’s important for you to know a little about this man.

Taylor has spent many years teaching, reaching his audiences with words and wit, and more than a bit of honesty.  He knows how to teach and inspire, to encourage kids to reach higher than they’ve ever thought they could.  Or would.

He is best known for his poem “What teachers make”, and a video take of him reciting it has been seen six-hundred-and-eighty-eight thousand, eight-hundred-and-thirty-four times, exciting teachers everywhere.  And if you click here, it will be one time more. 

But teaching is not the core of this site; it’s more for those who write, who have the energy still to share their skill after they lay down their novel-to-be at night.  For them, their blog is just one more cog in their overall marketing plan; another way they can flaunt themselves in the daunting world of writing.  

On writing too, Taylor has something to say, I've heard, for you who live by the word.  Many writers cannot spell and find editing absolute hell.  So many have resorted to the spell checker for help and reported it's not as good as its purported to be. And Taylor may have the final say.

The the impotence of proofreading
by Taylor Mali
Has this ever happened to you?
You work very horde on a paper for English clash
And then get a very glow raid (like a D or even a D=)
and all because you are the word¹s liverwurst spoiler.
Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the utmost impotence.

This is a problem that affects manly, manly students.
I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term
that my English teacher in my sophomoric year,
Mrs. Myth, said I would never get into a good colleague.
And that¹s all I wanted, just to get into a good colleague.
Not just anal community colleague,
because I wouldn¹t be happy at anal community colleague.
I needed a place that would offer me intellectual simulation,
I really need to be challenged, challenged dentally.
I know this makes me sound like a stereo,
but I really wanted to go to an ivory legal collegue.
So I needed to improvement
or gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison
(in Prison, New Jersey).

So I got myself a spell checker
and figured I was on Sleazy Street.

But there are several missed aches
that a spell chukker can¹t can¹t catch catch.
For instant, if you accidentally leave a word
your spell exchequer won¹t put it in you.
And God for billing purposes only
you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling
your spell Chekhov might replace a word
with one you had absolutely no detention of using.
Because what do you want it to douch?
It only does what you tell it to douche.
You¹re the one with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit.
It just goes to show you how embargo
one careless clit of the mouth can be.

Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint.
The teacher read my entire paper on A Sale of Two Titties
out loud to all of my assmates.
I¹m not joking, I¹m totally cereal.
It was the most humidifying experience of my life,
being laughed at pubically.

So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice:
One: There is no prostitute for careful editing.
And three: When it comes to proofreading,
the red penis your friend.

Please visit Taylor at


  1. Stan, you know that I call myself the world’s wurst proofraider. And that ime neurillogically incpable of learning how to spell. Thank you for happening me to sea the lite side I’d my incappaineties!

  2. And ah cannae tip cept in ma native Scots annat. But aye, guid point weil mad.

    Goan the poits!

  3. Thanks, Stan! I'd never heard of him before, and loved every minute and word. Reading MIE is almost better than spending four years in colleague.

  4. I think he writes in a very undictionaried manner.

  5. The penis mightier than the sword.