Samburu: The Life of a Girl

Annamaria on Monday

I am writing today with my friend and sister warrior for girls's rights: Sarah Lesiamito.  Regular readers of this blog know that Sarah is the founder of the Sidai Resource Centre in Samburu in Northnern Kenya.  She is in New York with me now, and in our conversations I am learning more and more about the lives of the girls in whom I have taken a great interest for the past seven years. Here is what I now know.

When a girl is born in Samburu, her father – who may have as many as five wives – will see her, not as a person with many potential choices in life, but as a little animal to be prized because when she is around nine years old, he can trade her for cows, adding to his own personal wealth.

Unlike as in most places, that girl will most likely never be sent to school. Her culture has something else in mind. Here are the major steps in a girl's life:

BEADING

Men in the Sambu culture, when they are in their late teens, early 20s, join the warrior class. They do not marry until they are in their late 20s or early 30s. During those years, when their male libidos are very active, they might be trying to seduce an older man's wives.  To avoid this, the Samburu culture has invented a sexual outlet for those warriors. It is called beading.

In beading, a girl, who often is between six and eight years old, without any say in the matter, is assigned - by mother and her brothers - to a warrior who will then have the right to use her.  (This is very hard to talk about.  So much so, that I think you may feel that I should not be talking about.  Those who perpetrate it want us to keep it secret.  It is in fact a hidden part of the culture.) The fact of the matter is, whether we talk about it or not, that these girls are suffering. And what happens to them next is even worse.

FGM

If you think what I just said was horrifying, this part is almost impossible to state, but here is what happens to nine year olds,  I'm going to get through it quickly. Some of the readers of these words will already know that FGM stands for female genital mutilation. There are plenty of places where you can find out more details about it, but you probably don't want more details than I've already given you, and I don't really want to state them anyway. You get the point.  And the girl is nine.

Forced Marriage

Shortly after they are cut, the girls are sold into marriage.  The man is chosen by the family, or they sell her to the highest bidder.  Often, the man who gets her is three or four times her age, and as I have said above, she may be his third, fourth, or fifth wife. She will then be made to bear as many children as possible, because her sons will be prized as the warriors and elders of the future, and her daughters will be seen as more chattel to enrich her father.  Girls in this culture do not have a say in who that man will be.  Oh, and by the way, if she does not bear children or bears too few, she may be sent away.

It is important to know that in this culture, all the food comes from animals.  And all the animals are owned by men.  Therefore, a woman without a man- a father, a husband or a son - might starve. 

I've known all this pretty much for sometime, but in the past few days, working with Sarah to ready ourselves to speak in the New York Public Library, and at an upcoming reception, I have learned some more details about what happens to girls. 

I always thought that almost all the girls went to school, at least for a little while before they were involved in the horror story above. That turns out not to be the case.  Most of the girls don't go to school at all.  Only that girl who, by chance, lives near a school will ever learn to read and write.  And then, only if her parents will allow it.  And if they have the funds to buy her a uniform and transport her to school every day.

 

Sarah and I are working very hard to rescue girls. Our hope, of course, is that we will stop these practices before they happen to a girl at all. But since, almost always, these are the girl's experiences, Sarah is also taking into Sidai, girls who have already been subjected to these awful experiences.

For instance, she has taken in a girl, let's call her June, who, at age 9, was married off to a 68 year-old-man, who already had 4 wives.  Sarah learned that June was troubled.  After being married for seven years, she has not produced a child.  Her husband has been abusing her.  When Sarah went to meet with Jane, she found out that the girl was severely depressed, to the point where her depression was dangerous. June wanted Sarah to take her to Sidai, and Sarah wanted to give the now 16-year-old June a second chance in life

Sarah followed the law: She went to the police and the Children's Protection Office who authorized Sarah to take June to Sidai.  Sarah also involved June's parents and the local chief to get permission to take June into Sidai. As of now, June is learning to read and write.  Then, she will have the chance to take a vocational course.  She will be able to support herself, and she will be free to marry again if she chooses. 

www.sidairesourcecentre.org