In a perfect world politics would be banned as they get in the way of important stuff. I don't think we should have politicians, it just encourages a dangerous form of lunacy. In ancient times, in the Greek city states (the Polis) members of the society were picked at random to run the country for a year or so ( a bit like jury duty). That seemed to work fine. Jeff will know more about this!
Mr Farage - The political everyman
Last week there were local elections in England and the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) did very well, promising that now they 'will trigger a political "earthquake" in next year's European parliamentary elections.' That quote is from its charismatic leader, Nigel Farage - a pleasant faced man with a great sense of humour. Were these the votes of disgruntled Tories? A protest vote of the austerity policies that are being proposed?
I think at the moment there is a bit of a stand off as the UKIP leader is refusing to negotiate with the PM after Cameron called his party "fruitcakes".
Maybe if you are going to be a politician, you may as well make your lunacy official- then at least the voter knows! When mooching around, I found a copy of the Monster Raving Loony Party's manifesto. Strangely enough they were sponsored by William Hill the bookmakers in the last general election ...
"We believe that parties like the Loony Party are an essential part of British democracy and eccentricity; and that the world would be a poorer place if there was no room in politics for a little harmless levity," said William Hill.
looks like a good party to be a member of!
The Official Monster Raving Loony Party was established in 1983 by musician and politician David Sutch (1940–1999), better known as "Screaming Lord Sutch, 3rd Earl of Harrow". It really existed just to satirise British politics which is a habit of the Oxbridge comedy genre. In the history of British comedy there has been a constancy of similar concepts, notably the Election Night Special sketch on Monty Python's Flying Circus in which the Silly, Sensible, and Slightly Silly parties stand against each other. One candidate is called Tarquin Fin Tim Lin Bin Whin Bim Lim bus stop f'tang ftang Ole Biscuit barrel. A sketch I know so well I can almost quote it off by heart. ('Well this is largely as I predicted except that the silly party won. I think this is largely due to the number of votes cast.') What a sad confession is that!
There was another one by The Goodies where Graeme Garden stood for Parliament as the Science Loony.
Here are some highlights from their manifesto which is made up by suggestions from Joe Public;-
To stop young people's excessive drinking and having a good time the politicians should convert all their 40 bars at Westminster into Milk Bars. Their restaurants should be converted into salad bars to show solidarity with the school children that they encourage to improve health and fitness.
All politicians should be made to stand continually on one leg while making speeches to check howbalanced their arguments are. It should also reduce political flatulence and soothe the listeners' ears.
If you want your kids to be less fat, feed them less.
Make weeding an Olympic sport .
The party should adopt the paint it purple policy (PIPP). In areas of unemployment ,youth unemployment and disaffectation every third building in the country should be painted purple.
All newly trained dentists will be required to have three teeth removed, two fillings and root canal work done without anaethestic. So they will know the agony they inflict on the rest of us.
Follow the leader is a pastime that has been cast aside by society today and we think it should become an extreme event in the Olympics.
The national symbol of England should change from three lions to three badgers. as we never see lions running around in England. The English should take pride in their lack of interesting, wild animals !
The new English Emblem..cutesville!
All mixed sweets like revels and smarties should come in a clear wrapper so you know the next flavour you are getting and so that you can remove your favourites from the bag before you offer them to anybody else.
Neds - non educated delinquents
It is proposed that pets especially dogs and cats may not be dressed in miniature human clothing for the purpose of human amusement.
Every day the news should tell people an interesting fact in the hope of increasing people's knowledge. Like the fact the black box flight recorder is yellow.
Saving fuel? A bungy rope should be attached to all vehicles making a journey. no fuel would be needed for the return journey.
All terrorists should wear bells and whistles so that we know where they are.
Pokemon should be considered an endangered species.
Put all people convicted of anti social behaviour into stocks, this will create a demand for stocks and this will help the stock market.
Superglue unruly teenagers together, as the saying goes, if you can't beat them, join them.
It is proposed that the European union end its discrimination by creating a court of human lefts because their present policy is one sided.
It should be illegal for all super heroes to use their powers for evil.
Anyone allowing their hyena to poop on the pavement should shovel it away immediately, as this is no laughing matter.
Health and safety; We propose to ban self responsibility on the grounds that it is bad for your health.
Issues with the European constitution will be sorted out by going for a long walk. Everybody knows that walking is good for the constitution.
We will ban all forms of greyhound racing. This will help stop the country going to the dogs.
If you have ever seen the British Parliament sitting, then you see that there is some sense in all this.
Caro Britain 10/05/13