Saturday, June 7, 2014

A Water Down Island Fairy Tale


Once upon a time, on a far away desert island paradise known for its great beauty and simple ways, there lived a people who knew how to conserve water. But the world discovered this blessed land and visitors came from far and wide with money to spend, causing the land to bloom with grand hotels filled with luxurious bathrooms, elaborate vacation homes sporting infinity swimming pools, and gardens to water everywhere.  Water conservation was not part of this new breed’s thinking. It did not fit with their image of paradise.

Not my island.

The island folk knew irreversible change had come to their land, and so they built two great reservoirs and a desalinization plant.  And all now seemed at peace in their world. But there were those in other lands who were not happy with this change, for the island no longer needed to purchase water from them.  So they grumbled and prayed for great harm to come to the island.


And behold, years of drought fell upon the island, the people saw their reservoirs drying up, and a great anxiety arose across the countryside.  They complained to their civic leaders, who in turn cried out to those who ministered to them from on high, “The fates have forsaken us, buy us water from the philistines.”  And so they did, and the land was once again at peace in its dependency upon others.


Some fairy tale ending, huh? 

There’s a fictional thriller ending far more appealing to me. It starts with the premise that anyone who monopolizes the source of water and controls its demand will be very rich.

The business school question is: How do you turn a target audience literally swimming in the stuff—say through a properly operating desalinization plant and reservoirs—into desperate seekers of your money-maker?

Island desalinization plant

Answer: Generate panic in the populace.  Say, like by getting the reservoirs to shrink. 

Complicating factor:  But they have a desalinization plant.  No problem.  It’s not like the reservoirs everyone can see. No one knows how much the plant’s producing, so instead of running at full throttle, 24/7 in preparation for the exponential demands of a drought-plagued, high tourist volume June, July, and August, get it to do as little as possible to make folks think it’s doing its job, while they watch their reservoirs inexorably recede.

Current level at head of one reservoir.
Current level at tail of other reservoir (head at top of post).
To paraphrase the signature line of the movie Field of Dreams, “Do nothing and they will come.”  Empty buckets in one hand, cash in the other.

So where’s the hero in this tale?  They’re hard to find these days.  But let’s say someone gets word to those ministers on high, they charge in, grasp what’s happening, and press those responsible for getting water to the people to do just that.  But, alas, by then it’s too late for technological expertise (and common sense) alone to save the day and water must be purchased…with funds otherwise intended to expand and modernize desalinization.

In other words, a noir Chinatown ending is inevitable in this sort of drama.
 

Nah, no one would believe that fictionalized story.  It’s more convenient to blame everything on nature or water wasting tourists.

And pay the piper…of water.

Back to the drawing board.  Bottled water in hand.


Jeff—Saturday

Friday, June 6, 2014

A brave young man


A remarkable and brave young man passed away on May the14th.  His name was Stephen Sutton and he died of bowel cancer.
At the age of 19.



His story is inspirational and full of humour, a short life well lived. Full of love and full of fun.
He was diagnosed at the age of 14 years of age At 18 he was told that the cancer had moved from curable, beyond manageable and was now terminal. So Stephen wrote down a bucket list of 46 things he wanted to do. The first was to raise £10 000 for The Teenage Cancer trust.

The figure is now over £4 000 000 and rising.

He tells it in his own words much better than I ever could. The photos are also his own.

                                          
                                 One his bucket list was a tattoo. so he got a zip on his operation scar.

"Originally all I ever wanted to do was study hard and make a difference to the world by becoming a doctor, however in light of my current circumstances I have decided to be more pragmatic with my time.
"This will involve utilizing as many short term opportunities as possible to enrich my own life experience and most importantly to try and improve the lives of others by fundraising and raising awareness of cancer in teenagers and young adults.
"Now exams are finished with I’ve written a list of things I want to achieve this year, with a large a number of things being for charity.

March 5

"£10,000 HAS NOW BEEN RAISED. Which is absolutely fantastic. I couldn't have done it without everyones help so thank you!!
"With so much going on it seems silly to stop there, so I've set a new target.... £50,000!!!



June 24
"Off to The House of Commons I go!! I'm picking up the award for the 'Most Inspirational Young Person' category.
"Just chilling at the House Of Commons feeling posh and important. There's canapés and everything (I spelt it canopies at first then my Mum had to correct me hahaha


By December

 £160,000!!! Wow!!!

"All the money raised will be going to the Teenage Cancer Trust, a charity who have helped me hugely in my own battle against cancer these past few years."

January 3, 2014

"Some good news! The PET and CT scans show my cancer has not spread to any areas above my pelvis (lungs, bowel, liver, etc). The tumors in my leg have continued to get bigger but that was as expected. Now, the way forward….
"Me and the Professor in a joint decision have decided that an amputation would be the best way to move forward (albeit I wouldn’t actually be moving forward as much!!!!).

January 7

"Today is the official one year anniversary of this page!! It's crazy to think, especially looking back at all the things I've done, that 'Stephen's Story' is only one year old.
"It started off concentrating on the bucket list of 46 things I wanted to achieve in the near future, and it was pretty cool ticking things off it.
"Some of the highlights include skydiving (twice), drumming in front on 90,000 people at wembley, crowd surfing in a rubber dinghy and I'm going to stop now because this list could go on for ages.
                                  
                                          Stephen with David Cameron

"I've also had loads of opportunities that weren't on the bucket list chucked at me and it's all just been so much fun!! The page has changed my life completely.
"Alongside still being a cancer patient, I've now become a full time volunteer/motivational speaker/entrepreneur/whatever I want to be. It's been crazy and very hectic at times, but so so good and rewarding.
"Thanks for sharing the journey with me everyone, hope you've had fun too, and here's to another successful year!!

January 14
"One of the things I really miss doing is taking part in sport, so today I decided I'd have a go at playing football again!
"Armed with two crutches and only one legitimate functioning leg I went for it- and it went pretty well!! I played amputee style swinging through with my working leg.

January 24
"Today I did a talk at St James Place's annual conference meeting at the O2 arena in London!
"The event was hosted by Clare Balding and other speakers included Andrew Marr, Ben Ainslie and former South African President F. W. De Klerk- and I got a standing ovation!!
"The talk was to about 4,000 people which is by far the biggest I have ever given, and it was so much fun!! When I put 'do some public speaking' on my bucketlist I never imagined it would be to this scale!!
"St James Place Foundation will be making a donation to the Teenage Cancer Trust and I'll keep everyone updated with that. Currently I'm off to the company's Gala Dinner at Grosvenor House Hotel!! It's all a bit surreal but so exciting :)"


                                       

January 29

"Today I ticked number 30 off my bucketlist- "Hug an animal bigger than me"!!
"After a romantic date consisting of me feeding 'Five' the elephant some bread (no offence to her but she was a very messy eater), we finished off with a nice cuddle.
"When the safari park got in touch I had no idea what to expect, but no way did I expect to get this close and friendly!! In fact, not sure you can see from this picture, but it got a bit too friendly at one point an the one end of her trunk was feeling my bum haha!
"Anyway, it was great fun and such a cool experience being that close to such an amazing animal. Huge thanks to Elliot Webb from BBC Hereford and Woucester and West Midlands Safari Park for making this happen.
"When I put the item on the list no way did I think it would be a 3 and half tonne elephant, but there you go, although completing the bucketlist isn't my main aim anymore it's another item ticked off in style!!"
"Cancer is rubbish, but life is great. So I’ll just concentrate on the life part by keeping busy and positive :)

March 2

"Guinness World Records have FINALLY got back to me regarding the World Record attempt we did last year... to recap we tried for the 'Worlds Longest Continuous Group Drum Roll' and a group of us kept it going for over 30 hours, smashing the current record, but after ''thoroughly" reviewing the application we've been told the evidence we sent off was not sufficient- boo hoo!

"As a result I'm already working on TWO new events involving record attempts.... If all goes to plan I'll soon be facilitating attempts for:
- the "Most amount of tandem skydivers in 24 hours" (which currently stands at 251 people)
- and the "Largest amount of people spooning" (I'm serious!! It's currently 527 people in one room positioned one after each other)
Both should be great fun...."

April 5

"One aspect of the journey that is increasingly becoming more significant and daunting is pain control.
"After lots of thought I've decided it's time to set a new fundraising target... The current total stands at over £572k raised in just over a year so, combined with my optimism and enthusiasm, I've decided to set sights on now raising ONE MILLION- yes, one million- pounds for Teenage Cancer Trust!!"

April 21

"Yesterday evening I got very short of breath and had to go hospital via an ambulance. This morning I woke up with chest pains and was struggling to breathe.
"Currently I am in a very vulnerable position and do not know what will happen next.
"My right lung has collapsed and I am very weak (I'm finding it hard to type this message) I will fight as hard as I can, but if the worst happens I just want to say thank you all for sharing the journey with me- it's been wonderful.
"This has all happened so suddenly, but I've been lucky to get so far. Cancer sucks, but life has been brilliant :)
"The good news is that I am still here and breathing- just about! I am permanently hooked up to oxygen and unable to get out of my hospital bed though.

"I have managed to have a CT scan though today and if the result from that are suitable they might consider trying to put a stent in my chest, which may help give me a few extra days.
“Generally I am feeling very weak and the slightest bit of movement is leaving me short of breath. I am also finding it tiring to speak and even typing this message is hard work.
"Unfortunately I haven't got much time left, but I just want to reiterate to you all what a great time I've had recently.
"I don't really want to die, but hopefully my journey has influenced a lot of people for the better and taught people not to take life for granted.
"I think it has, and will hopefully continue to do so in the future, so in a situation that seems so unfair and without explanation, at least there has certainly been some purpose for me in my short time alive, which certainly helps ease the pain :)

                                             
April 22

"It's a final thumbs up from me! I've done well to blag things as well as I have up till now, but unfortunately I think this is just one hurdle too far.
"It's a shame the end has come so suddenly- there's so many people I haven't got round to properly thank or say goodbye too. Apologies for that.
All furture updates on this page will probably be from a family member. I will continue fighting for as long as I can, and whatever happens next I want you all to know I am currently in a good place mentally and at ease with the situation.
"That's it from me. But life has been good. Very good. Thank you to my mum and the rest of my family for everything.
"Thank you to my friends for being amazing.
"Thank you to my medical team for the hard work and effort they've continually they've put towards me.
"And thank you everyone else for sharing this wonderful journey with me. I love you all :) x

April 24 - morning
"Hi everyone, it's Stephen here- still here and still fighting!!!
"Throughout the whole journey I've been realistic about my position and at my last post I genuinely thought I was a goner....
"But hey, I'm still here!! Sunday morning my right lung collapsed: I had a full emergency team surrounding me and in all honesty was probably not too far from nearly leaving you all.
"I survived, but the following day I woke up and felt very weak- the worry was that whatever was left of my health would just continue to deteriorate.
"However, from that point on my recovery has been positive and quite unexpected. One doctor while seeing me even said how my medical notes and how I was actually doing didn't quite seem to match up.
"The progress since has continued to be good but steady. I am still in a very vulnerable position. I am very limited in what I can do and am still permanently hooked up to oxygen.
"But I am in high spirits and blessed to have so much love and support around me. To get to see the million pound fundraising target being reached was just phenomenal!
"The plan is to take things day by day. Just keep on keeping on like I always have.
"I will try and update when I can, but my health and staying alive is obviously my main priority at the moment aha.
"The battle is physically and mentally very demanding, but I am happy- and that's the main thing! :)"

April 25

"Hi guys, it's Stephen here again, and it feels so good to be able to put that. Currently I am feeling well and would describe my current situation as stable.
"Different people will put my recent physical improvement down to different reasons; I don't want to over dramatise things too much, but I do just want to mention that everyone's positive thoughts and support has been hugely appreciated, so thank you for that.
"I've always been a firm believer that people are 'good', and to see people come together for the cause recently in the way they have is incredibly touching and heartwarming.
"Thank you from me, and also thank you from every young cancer patient in the future who will benefit invaluably from the money raised!"

"In the meantime: to celebrate still being here after this crazy week, to celebrate this wonderful journey called life, and to celebrate being part of raising over £3,000,000 for Teenage Cancer Trust... Here's a huge thumbs up from me!"

"Today I had a visit from this fella... David Cameron, the Prime Minister himself!!! Pretty cool huh.
"It was a privileged experience and caps off what has been an extraordinary two weeks. Who would have thought that one thumbs up picture could have kick started so much good and influenced so many.
"I'm just happy to help, and happy to still be here.
"I then also have some more great news…I've been discharged from hospital!!

"After being at a point where it seemed like I'd never make it out it feels so awesome to be able to put that. The recovery I've undergone recently is quite remarkable.

May 3

"Tomorrow I was originally organising an event for a World Record Attempt for the 'Most amount of people spooning' to tick another item off the bucket list, whilst having a bit of fun and doing something for "World Laughter Day".
"The current record for that specific attempt has since been emphatically broken elsewhere, but there's a record attempt ('most amount of people making a heart shape hand gesture') still going ahead tomorrow, organised for me by others.
"It should be a a great event, all taking place in my hometown of Burntwood."

May 4

"Just broke a Guinness World Record for 'The most amount of people making heart-shaped hand gestures'.
"Another item ticked off the bucketlist and an all round great event to be part of!
"Huge thank you to everyone who attended (all 554 people!) and everyone else who helped make the event possible!"

May 6
"Hi everyone! Just to update you all, I have been feeling very good in myself and doing well these past few days.
"I've even had the energy to make a few appearances at local events which has been lovely, but mainly it has been a case of resting and taking things very easy at home.

May 11

"Unfortunately today I've ended up back in hospital! I had some breathing difficulties starting last night and after going to A and E have been admitted back to a ward for monitoring.
"The whole thing is very inconvenient aha. I had a few cool things planned to attend today, then tomorrow was due to appear on the telly on BBC Breakfast News!
"I understand my health is the obvious priority though and have had to cancel. Fingers crossed the issue will be resolved and that I'll be out of hospital soon, I'll keep you all updated with how I'm getting on."

                                        


May 13
"Hi everyone, this is Stephen's family. Unfortunately in the last 24 hours Stephen's condition has deteriorated to where he can no longer communicate through this page himself.
"Unfortunately the breathlessness which had him re-admitted to hospital is due to the regrowth of tumours which are blocking his airways, and not just due to infection as we had all been hoping.
"He is currently comfortable and stable, and we will let you know of any further developments. Right now however, as a family, we wish for a certain amount of privacy for us to spend what time he has remaining with him.
"We appreciate everyone's concern, and for all the love and goodwill sent his way, and indeed ours too, we thank you deeply x

May 14

"My heart is bursting with pride but breaking with pain for my courageous, selfless, inspirational son who passed away peacefully in his sleep in the early hours of this morning, Wednesday 14th May.
"The ongoing support and outpouring of love for Stephen will help greatly at this difficult time, in the same way as it helped Stephen throughout his journey.
"We all know he will never be forgotten, his spirit will live on, in all that he achieved and shared with so many.

Love,
His mom x"


And, if I Caro, can just add my wee postscript to this blog.  What a brave woman his mother was,  what a mature young man his brother must be. To be pulled along by that energy and emotion when they probably wanted to curl up and cry.

Caro 06 06 2014

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Welcome the "R" Word


I’m usually a pretty optimistic person, and I don’t have a lot of patience with (usually white) people in South Africa who have nothing good to say about the country and the government.  But over the last few weeks – starting with the disappointing endorsement of more of the same at the election – I’ve started to feel the way Jeff feels about Greece: more in sorrow than in anger.

And yet I still find myself ambivalent about many issues.  Seeing both points of view of an issue can be a curse if you want to get something done.  On the other hand, I’m not going to change anything anyway, so I suppose ambivalence is okay.  While much of the rest of the world is showing signs of recovery and renewed growth – albeit pretty shaky – South Africa has the distinction of moving into a recession.  The economy shrank in the first quarter; the last two months did the same.  Unless something dramatic and unexpected happens this month, it’s the “R” word for us.  Economists here call it a “self-imposed” recession.  I didn’t understand that, but I started thinking about it.


This is the sixth month of the strike at the platinum mines in the North West providence.  That must be some sort of record.  Surprisingly, the platinum price has not moved up, yet South Africa is by far the world’s largest producer of the platinum group metals.  I suppose that’s recognition that sooner or later, one way or another, the strike has to end.  To give the new minister of mines full credit, he used his first week in office to mediate.  But why wait till now?  Why after twenty-five weeks?  Was the previous minister incompetent (likely) or is the new one brilliant (perhaps)?  In the meanwhile, the industry has practically ground to a halt and the mines have been selling off stockpiles.  If a deal is done this week, it will be because those stockpiles are starting to run low.  And because miners and their wives and children are hungry. I can’t imagine how these people have been living with no real income for nearly six months.  Both sides have been at fault - the miners with unrealistic demands and the mine managers with their truculent culture.  If agreement is reached, the union will declare a famous victory and the mines will start to move to the mechanized mining that is long overdue.  On the one hand, workers will start to earn realistic wages, on the other the unemployment situation will deteriorate still further.

Another issue that makes little sense to me is fracking.  South Africa is rich in a variety of natural resources but oil isn’t one of them.  A local geologist once famously promised to drink the first cup of oil produced on mainland South Africa.  So far he’s been able to stick to wine.  We have plenty of polluting coal and a useful offshore gas field, but it seems that the Karoo is rich in shale gaswhole resource for an ill-defined price at an unspecified time in the future.  It’s hardly a surprise that they aren’t getting any takers.
deposits.  Well, maybe.  Now is fracking a good thing?  I don’t know.  I think it may be many years before we know the answer to that.  In the meanwhile it offers an energy source for the country and a new industry to generate jobs.  The government’s reaction has been, shall we say, peculiar.  It has infuriated environmentalists by deciding that the resource should be exploited, but the model they have chosen is unworkable.  Companies are welcome.  They must accept that the state has a free carry of 20% (as well as royalties), which is not unreasonable, but also that the government will have the option to acquire the

Karoo Landscape
Beyond the big issues, the economy is mired in arcane regulations.  At home, black economic empowerment is the name of most games.  A good thing in principal, it has much too often been a get rich quick scheme for people well connected with the ruling elite – children, nephews, nieces, friends and so on.  The regulations are extremely complex and make it very hard for small businesses to operate efficiently.  Abroad, we have a rigid system to prevent…  Well, actually I can’t think what it’s designed to prevent.  But let me just give one example.  Today I received a circular at the University, announcing with excitement that the Reserve Bank (which governs these currency flow issues) has granted an exemption to universities to transfer copyright of academic papers to publishing journals.  Before that, it seems, you had to apply to the Reserve Bank to transfer the copyright because it was a South African asset being transferred out of the country.  As a friend of mine would say, the inmates have taken over the asylum.


Maybe I don’t understand these things because I’m not an economist.  Maybe I should just welcome the recession as a new phase of life.


Michael – Thursday.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Let them eat cake


grahic from: http://hifitnessclub.wordpress.com/tag/bmi/
Watching the news on TV in the UK this weekend I noticed that one of the main topics regarded new research data on worldwide obesity. According to the news presenter the report apparently mentioned that the UK obesity rate for young women was amongst the highest in Europe. At the same time I was browsing through the Icelandic news on my laptop and noticed something odd. There the online papers were citing the same report, except the Icelandic women were being said to be amongst the most obese in Europe. I raised my eyebrows, not only because women from both countries appeared to share this rather unfortunate status but also because I know Iceland pretty well and this does not fit at all. A high rate of obesity amongst UK women did not seem apparent to me either.

My intrigue was heightened when I saw in an American newspaper in the airport lounge at Heathrow that this report was front page news there as well – the focus being on the weight of Americans.

So I wanted to know how did the authors of this odd report (where every country can apparently classify its population as the most obese in one category or another) arrive at their results. Where did they get their information from, seeing how wrong they appeared to get it in Iceland’s case?

So I did some very low effort digging and found out that this report was issued in the Lancet Medical Journal. It was published there under the title: Global, regional, and national prevalence of overweight and obesity in children and adults during 1980—2013: a systematic analysis for the Global Burden of Disease Study 2013. I became an online member to be able to access the full article. I found out that they base their surveys on BMI figures (body mass index) which utilises height and weight to assess a body’s weight status.
 
Group of typical Icelanders
The article’s accompanying charts and maps showed that between 20-30% of adults in Iceland (over 20 years) are obese according to the research. Which strikes me as an great overshot. So I went through the referenced surveys they used to reach this conclusion. But there was not a single Icelandic reference. Nor was there a single Icelandic doctor listed amongst the contributors to the article. So where did they get their figures for my country?

It turns out that there is not much recent information regarding the weight of the Icelandic public lying around. The results of a survey conducted in 2012 have yet to be finalised and are therefore unpublished. There is decades old material available but only in Icelandic as far as I could see. So maybe the authors got their info from a world organisation such as WHO or something called the World Obesity Federation. It is possible that global organisations would be able to get the data from Icelandic authorities that might have a secret report hidden away. But this did not turn out to be the case.
 
 
The World Obesity Federation noted obesity amongst Icelandic adults as lying between 17 and 18% on a map showing world figures. There was no indication as to where this came from. I also found a chart presenting the combined % overweight & obesity BMI for countries that had the appropriate data available. Iceland was not amongst them which fits my perception that this info is not obtainable.

In addition I found this on the WHO website: “Data on standardized mean BMI were available for only 27 of the 31 high-income OECD members. Such data were missing for Estonia, Iceland, Luxembourg and Slovenia.”

So I cannot but wonder if the authors of the new report just made up the data for Iceland and possibly Estonia, Luxembourg and Slovenia as well.

Learn something from this anyone that intends to publish a report using made up data. Make sure to err on a positive side. I would never have thought twice about this if the authors had given Iceland the benefit of the doubt and made us svelte.

Yrsa - Wednesday  
 
P.S. Please note that I do believe the rate of obesity is rising, here and everywhere. But results founded on sand as in the case of Iceland don't help.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Being a Flaneur in Paris

Being a 'flaneur' in Paris means strolling, walking and discovering. Edmund White, among many who've picked the subject, wrote a book about 'flaneuring' entitled The Flaneur - A stroll through the paradoxes of Paris. Taking off by foot on a journey without a map, a goal except the journey itself.
Here's a day I spent as a Flaneur without a map.

 Beyond Saint Sulpice I took a street to the right because it looked untraveled and for a quiet moment, deserted. Deserted except for Rimbaud's lines of poetry on the wall of what turned out to be the poem he'd recited at 17 years old
 for the first time in a cafe down the street.
 Walking slightly uphill the narrow street fronted the Jardins Luxembourg and the Musée Luxembourg's exhibit of Josephine - her world, her life pre+ post Napoleon.
 Her silk parasol and her tiny ribboned shoes.
 A cantata composed for her in a special musical evening at Malmaison.
 One of her Directoire chairs and probably used by N.
 And then without a compass found me on the right bank in a courtyard of a film production company off the Champs Elyseès.
 Later with a bouquet of roses at the cafe for my friend who'd just had a very, very hard day at work.
 After a few aperitifs, a blurry shot of Yves Montand on the wall at his old hangout Fouquets.
 Somehow seeing Tintin and Snowy in space suits pulled me into Artcurial, an auction house/art gallery/bookstore in the 19th century mansion off the Rondpoint and inside to a bidding war for paintings I couldn't afford.
 And then into the public library - yes an amazing library in an old mansion below Place de Clichy with fresco'd ceilings.
Even if you don't have a library card you can sit under the crystal chandelier and read today's paper or ELLE magazine. Are you ever a flaneur?

Cara - Tuesday

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Guest Blogger: Lenny Kleinfeld––"And the Shotgun Sings the Song."




Guest blogging for us today is the incomparable Lenny Kleinfeld.  If you’re not familiar with Lenny's work you’re missing something really special.  Make that really hysterically special.  Lenny’s first novel, Shooters And Chasers, is one of the funniest crime novels I ever read.  His just released second (published Friday), SOME DEAD GENIUS—the manuscript of which our mutual friend Leighton Gage and I were privileged to read—is the funniest.  True to the classy guy he his. Lenny dedicated SOME DEAD GENIUS to Leighton.  Here is the link to Amazon's sales page for SDG.

According to Lenny, “Both are hardboiled black comedy police procedurals, though early focus group results indicate SOME DEAD GENIUS is 9.6% funnier and contains 12.7% more violence. It’s about people trying to tell the difference between art marketing, serial killing and Chicago politics.”  And for more of Lenny on Lenny check out this interview in Omnimystery News.

Lenny began his career in Chicago as a playwright, columnist and freelance writer. His fiction, articles, humor, and reviews have appeared in Playboy, Galaxy, Oui, the Chicago Reader, Chicago Tribune, New York Times, and Los Angeles Times.

In 1986 he sold a screenplay to Michael Douglas, and is currently three decades into a business trip to Los Angeles.  You can learn more about Lenny and his work at   www.lennykleinfeld.com

Welcome, my friend.

—Jeff
*****

Lenny Kleinfeld


            Crime novelists aren't the only writers who cash in on robbery and murder. Songwriters are centuries ahead of us on that score. Millennia, if you count Homer. He recited his poetry while strumming a lyre. Hence, lyricist. Hence, with absolutely no claim to scholarly rigor, I classify Homer as a proto-Troubadour, even though those guys hit the road about 19 centuries after Homer retired to Mykonos and opened a piano bar. (Hence the term “blind drunk.”)


True, despite penning many topical lyrics which included tales of violence, the Troubs were best known for love songs. But all the way back to Homer, many of the best slaughter ditties had a lot to do with love. And/or lust. The English and Scottish songbooks of the 12th through 18th Centuries have rivers of blood and semen flowing through them, often connected to rape and/or incest, one reason why in the 1960s and Seventies folk-rockers like Fairport Convention and Steeleye Span had so much success covering them.

            But today's blog is about contemporary musical felonies. I'm sure you have your own favorites. These are mine.

            My all-time Number One dope-dealing, bar-brawling, murder and romantic sacrifice number is Texas songwriter Robert Earl Keen's The Road Goes On Forever, the next line of which is “And the party never ends.”  It's a bone-deep black comedy, an entire Jim Thompson novel’s worth of sexy, dusty, shotgun-blast narrative in five minutes and three seconds—at least in its finest iteration, an exuberant kickass live performance by Keen’s fellow Texans, Joe Ely and his world-class bar band. I’m going to resist the urge to reveal any details about the lovers and their story; you should discover it for yourself.

           

On that same album, Live @ Antones, there’s another fun crime number—Ely’s own surreal tale of a deadly romantic triangle, Me And Billy The Kid. “I admit that I framed him/I don’t feel no remorse/It was just my way of getting’ even/With the man who shot my horse.” https://myspace.com/joeelymusic/music/album/live-at-antone-s-18061606

The world's most ominous, ferociously sung and played song about a mobster and his obsessive love doesn’t mention a single specific crime or murder—yet you know there have been many.


It’s Richard Thompson’s Cooksferry Queen, which boasts a line worthy of Chandler: “People speak my name in whispers/And what higher praise can there be?”

            In 1973, after the Byrds broke up, Roger McGuinn released a solo album, the ingeniously titled Roger McGuinn. It includes a gentle country number with a tough core, called Bag Full Of Money. It’s a droll, imaginary character study of the mysterious D.B. Cooper, who hijacked a plane, collected a ransom, parachuted into the Washington wilderness and was never found. Nor has Cooper’s true identity ever been determined. Though decades later a couple of packets of the cash turned up on a remote riverbank.


The song—which Cooper is supposedly singing as he’s “floating on down through the sky”—features a tumble of simple but memorable rhymes. One verse resonates especially strongly these days: “If you can’t get a job they think you’re insane/If the years of your youth have been washed down the drain/And you wake up one morning with nothing but pain/It was then I decided to grab me a plane.” The only link I was able to find to Bag Full Of Money has a slender love song on it before you get to the main event. Sorry.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaZvavydQf4
           

A jauntier yet more violent country-rock song from 1971, Glendale Train by The New Riders Of The Purple Sage, is about a Wild West gang (“Men on horses, men with guns/And no sign of the law”) who rob a train, using dynamite to blow open the baggage car: “Well Amos he was markin’ time/When the door blew off the car/They found Amos White in fifteen pieces/Fifteen miles apart.” And the track bounces along on a trampoline of pedal steel guitar pickin’ by Jerry Garcia.

            For a more naturalistic, savage, yet elegantly arranged ode to desperate men, there’s Steve Earle’s 1988 Copperhead Road. It’s an update of the 1958 hillbilly-noir movie classic, Thunder Road, starring Robert Mitchum as a good ol’ boy running moonshine in his souped-up hot rod.


Earle’s song is told by a Viet Nam vet whose dad died when his rebuilt “big block Dodge” crashed during a whisky run. When the son gets back from Nam he goes into the modern moonshine biz: growing high-grade weed. As the Appalachian-folkie-hard-rock track thunders to a peak, with a synthesizer and keening electric guitars wailing like massive industrial bagpipes, Earle roars in fear and defiance: “Now the DEA’s got a chopper in the air/I wake up screaming like I'm back over there/I learned a thing or two from ol' Charlie don’t you know/You better stay away from Copperhead Road.” Phew.

            Songwriters, like novelists, write tons more about the murderer than about the victim. There is in the pop music canon at least one brilliant song about a murder victim, Leonard Cohen’s Joan Of Arc. You remember, that kid who was barbecued by British noblemen and churchmen for the crime of being a 19-year-old girl who kicked their asses on the field of battle. No chivalric need to honor a captured enemy commander if it’s someone without a little hose dangling between her legs, right? (Not that the British captured her; their Burgundian allies had to do it for them.)

           

Cohen’s song is an audacious dialog between Joan and the fire consuming her; she and the flames assume the roles of bride and groom. “Then she clearly understood/If he was fire she must be wood.” It’s a fabulously performable conceit for a vocalist who knows how to sing in character.

            Jennifer Warnes’ soaring version on “Famous Blue Raincoat,” a studio album of Leonard Cohen covers, is a miraculous blend of voice, intelligence and emotion. The twentieth-anniversary reissue that came out in 2007 has a bonus track recorded live; Warnes’ vocal vamp at the end aches with a depth of passionate anguish usually only heard in Lisbon fado clubs after two AM. Wrecks me every time.

            Still, the only place to close this is back with the killer. And with the most famous line in murder music. Here’s the live version of Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Blues, cut in that very institution, with the inmates breaking into cheers when he gets to “I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.”

 

Lenny—Guest Blogging Sunday