Fore!

 Stanley – Thursday

 

The normally staid world of golf is currently being wracked with controversy, and not of the sort when Henry Fotherington-Bogsworthy surreptitiously nudged his ball into a more favourable lie.

Golf is often described as a gentleman’s or gentlewoman’s game because players are generally responsible for calling violations of the rules on themselves. The popularity of the game as a spectator sport has grown enormously over the past decades, helped by superb craftsmen of the game, such as Tiger Woods, large purses to be won, and enormous rivalries created, stoked by television and sponsors.

 

As a viewer of golf on television, I love to see the tension grow as a tournament moves towards it final holes. It is remarkable to me that several players may be vying for the trophy, separated by a stroke or two after four gruelling days of play on some of the most difficult courses in the world. The level of expertise is awe inspiring and continues to rise.

 

From the players’ perspective, the prizes to be won at each tournament are mouthwatering, with the winner often taking home well in excess of a million dollars, with millions more lavished on the top players in the form of sponsorships. Almost as important to the players are the world rankings. Every tournament sanctioned by one of the ruling bodies from around the world counts, with the biggest events, such as the four majors, counting the most.

 

Until recently, everything seemed to be hunky-dory for all interested parties. Then something happened that is threatening to tear the world of professional golf apart.

 

Enter the LIV Golf Invitational Series, masterminded by Greg Norman of Australia, and funded by the sovereign wealth fund of Saudi Arabia, known as the Public Investment Fund.

LIV CEO Greg Norman

 

It has offered staggering amounts of money to players to leave the Professional Golf Association (PGA) tour. Legendary American player, Phil Michelson, for example, accepted a reported $200 million to change affiliations. Other players, such as recent world number 1, Dustin Johnson, have been payed similar amounts, while lower-ranked players may have received much smaller amounts, that were nevertheless enormous.

There will be only eight LIV tournaments a year (as of now) each with a field of 48 players. The prize money for each tournament is breath-taking. The total prize money for the first LIV tournament, which was held at the Centurion Club in England two weekends ago, was $25 million, which is twice the amount for the PGA Tournament being held in Brookline, outside Boston. this weekend. For example, the winner at the Centurian Club was South African Charl Schwartzel. The South African team, in a new competition type, also won the team event. Schwartzel took home prize money of $4.75 million on top of whatever he was paid to switch allegiances. 

 

So why the fuss?

 

Criticism of the LIV tour comes in different flavours. 

 

The first flavour revolves around Phil Michelson. After  acknowledging that Saudi Arabia had a “horrible record on human rights” — including the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, a Washington Post journalist — he them embraced a ‘once-in-a-lifetime opportunity’ that put hundreds of millions of dollars in his pocket. Michelson didn’t do himself any favours when he then accused the PGA of ‘obnoxious greed’, despite having won 45 PGA-sanctioned tournaments, earning a fortune in the process.

Phil Michelson

Players like Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy criticised Michelson, with the latter calling Michelson’s comments ‘naïve, selfish, egotistical, ignorant.’

 

The second flavour of criticism has been the quality of players jumping ship. McIlroy was dismissive of the players in the first LIV tournament. ‘I certainly don’t think the field is anything to jump up and down about,’ he said. Many regard the LIV players, in general, as players who want less competition and more money  – that any responsibility to and loyalty to the organisation (the PGA) that gave them the opportunity to be so successful has been pushed aside.

 

The third flavour of criticism is that splitting the talent pool will inevitably lead to there being less interest from the public. How can there be a Number 1 if the players are not all competing against each other? Although, of course, there is a lot of self-interest involved, the PGA has used this flavour to strongly oppose the creation of an opposing tour. On 9 June 2022, it announced that its members who participated in the first LIV Golf tournament were no longer eligible to compete in PGA tour events or some international events, such as the President's Cup. The gauntlet is down.

 

My own views are very conflicted. 

 

On one hand, I believe that individuals have the right to do the best for themselves and their families. From a financial perspective, the players who have moved to LIV will definitely make more money. 

 

On the other hand, abandoning the very organisation that helped make them successful seems to be an abdication of responsibility, an entirely selfish decision. I would perhaps be more sympathetic if these golfers were in dire financial straits.  But that's not the case: all of them have already earned millions of dollars. They have lost my admiration and my trust.

 

As I sit, eyes closed, listening to what my instincts are telling me, my path forward becomes clear. My Anglican-School education pushes me in the direction of believing that PGA players have a duty to support the PGA, which continues to support them at a level that would have been incomprehensible a decade or two ago. Furthermore, I believe the Saudi involvement is purely to whitewash their human-rights violations. 

I lived through the apartheid era in South Africa, when many sportsmen and sportswomen wanted to let South Africa continue to participate on the international stage. They argued that politics should be kept out of sport. They were wrong. Politics already controlled every aspect of sport in South Africa, preventing anyone who wasn't White from competing on an equal footing. For golfers who have moved to the LIV tour to ignore the Saudi record on human rights is to tacitly condone it.

So I have decided that I won’t support the LIV tournaments, and I won’t watch any of them. I don't think that the creation of the LIV series will help golf in any way. To the contrary, I think it is and will continue to damage the game.

 

PS 1: Where did the name of Greg Norman’s tour come from?  LIV in Roman numerals means 54, which is the number of shots you would play if you birdied every hole on a standard 72-par golf course. It is also the number of holes each LIV tournament will be played over rather than the normal 72 holes. 

PS 2: I am back in Minneapolis after being delayed in Denmark due to a surprising positive COVID test at Copenhagen airport. I was asymptomatic. Fortunately I could isolate at Mette's home rather than at a grungy hotel. The strange things was that I had had typical COVID symptoms a couple of weeks earlier while on a boat trip down the Danube. However, I tested negative four times on the journey.

____________________

Upcoming events

September 2022: Release of the eighth Detective Kubu mystery, A Deadly Covenant.

September 2022: Bouchercon in Minneapolis

 

A miracle a long time in coming

 Stanley - Thursday

On Monday this week, a miracle happened to me - I hit my first hole in one after over sixty years of trying. I had long ago given up hope that it would happen. I had come close several times, twice within 20 cms (8 inches), but there was no cigar to be had.

On Monday I was playing the 18th hole at the Metropolitan Golf Course in Cape Town. It is a fine finishing hole - a par 3 over water, out of bounds to the right and bunkers protecting the green on the left. Depending on where the tee markers are placed it can be as short as 110 metres and as long as 190 metres. On Monday it was 167 metres (183 yards) into a slight breeze.

Metropolitan 18th hole, with soccer stadium and Devil's Peak in background

The view from the tee

For the readers who golf, I hit a 4 hybrid. My natural shot shape is a draw (right to left), so I had to start it out towards the out of bounds. I knew I had hit it well and saw it start to curve towards the green. Then I lost sight of it - bad eyes! 

Since there had been a hold up on the last hole, the four ball behind mine was also at the tee. As I lost sight of the ball, one of them said "It's going in the hole!" followed by "It's in the hole!" I shrugged it off, thinking it was a typical golf joke. As we walked away, he said again, "I'm sure it's in."

As I walked up to the green, I looked round and couldn't see it. That raised my hopes a little, because I knew it had been a good shot. I looked at the rough behind the green. Nothing to be seen. Eventually, I decided I had to inspect the hole, so I walked over - unknowingly being filmed by one of my playing companions.

And there it was.

You can see my elation here.

A good shot augmented enormously by good luck. After all, the hole is only 10.79 cms (4.25 inches) wide.

And that ticked off one of three golf goals I had had when I stepped onto the course that day: a hole in one; an albatross (scoring 3 shots less that par; a hole in one on a par 4, or a 2 on a par 5); and finishing a round with a score the same or less than my age.

So here are some facts:

The odds of getting a hole in one are 1 in 12,500. So obviously, the more you play, the greater the change of success. Also, the better golfer you are, the better the chances. My research indicates that 20% of all golfers have at least one hole in one in their life times. For professional golfers, the odds are 1 in 1,250, ten times better.

For an albatross, the odds are even worse. I could find no definitive facts, but is seems the odds are 1 in between 1 and 6 million. I wrote this one off a long time ago, even though I once came within 50 cms (about 19 inches). It was in Johannesburg (high altitude); winter (rock hard fairways); probably a tailwind; and two good shots. I did sink the put for an eagle (2 under par).

With respect to shooting my age, as we say, I am more optimistic. In January I scored 75, one over my age at the time. Had I waited six weeks, I would have been able to check off the second golfing goal. This is an interesting goal because it changes every year - one more shot allowed to be successful; one more year of fading strength.

For a hole in one to be recognised, it has to be witnessed by two people. A friend has had one witnessed hole in one, and two accomplished when playing by himself. 

The traditional is also for the lucky golfer to buy everyone a round of drinks after the round. There were 44 players in the competition last Monday, so the bill was quite steep. Fortunately in South Africa, at least, the club carries some insurance, as does my homeowner's insurance, so I shouldn't be out of pocket. However, I wouldn't have cared if I had to pay for the whole lot.

I've been grinning all week.

___________________________________

Upcoming events:

Crimefest in Bristol:

THURSDAY, 12 MAY, 15.50 – 16.40
A CHANGE IS AS GOOD AS A REST: WRITING MORE THAN ONE SERIES
* M.J. Lee
* Douglas Lindsay
* Michael Stanley
* Robert Wilson 
Participating Moderator: Michael Ridpath

FRIDAY, 13 MAY, 12:30 - 13:20
DIVIDED SOCIETY: HATE CRIMES AND SOCIAL FACTORS
* Kia Abdullah
* Antony Dunford
* Sarah Sultoon
* Holly Watt

Participating Moderator: Michael Stanley

FRIDAY, 13 MAY, 16:00 – 16:50
ITW: THRILLING FOR A LIVING
* Alison Bruce 
* Dugald Bruce-Lockhart
* Alex Shaw
* Michael Stanley

Participating Moderator: Zoë Sharp (authorzoesharp@gmail.com) 

Notes from Cape Town

Stanley – Thursday

I have been in Cape Town for three weeks now, nestled between Lion’s Head mountain and the Atlantic Ocean. It is a gorgeous spot.

However, the time has been far from predictable, far from serene. For the most part, I have felt discombobulated most of the time.

Number 1: my flat

Last year Mette and I split our two-level flat and sold the top half. We then decided to renovate the lower half, adding a small bedroom to make it a two-bedroom apartment. As usual, I forgot about the universal law of cussedness and underestimated the amount of work. I expected, for example, that I had enough spare tiles to accommodate the very small extension I was making – about 4 square metres. Wrong! This small extension not only required tiles for the inside, but also for one long row outside to ensure the flat below didn’t get soaked when it rained.

Of course, there were no tiles to be found that matched. The whole frigging floor had to be lifted. The neighbours weren’t happy with the banging and chiseling.

Awaiting a new floor and windows. But what a view!

I wanted to add a small shower to the existing guest toilet. Access to plumbing infrastructure meant that the shower couldn’t be where I originally planned. The new location was where the door opened, so I had to replace the swinging door with a pocket door. Down came the wall with associated noise. The neighbours were even less happy.

The new guest bathroom

To accommodate the second bedroom, I had to move the kitchen and extend a wall. More banging.

The guest bedroom is behind that wall. 

And then, thinking that the deconstruction had finished and with it the noise, I discovered that the new design require extensive work by plumber and electrician to accommodate the new pipes and wires. Angle grinders, here we come. Arriving at the same time, was one of my neighbours who had not yet learnt to ignore noise. Her visit added to the noise.

In general, the contractors have been very good, working quickly, but not always letting me know when noise was planned. I send out emails almost every day with information what to expect. Turns out this attempt at transparency has its negative side, because when I say it will be a quiet day and it’s not, I get shouted at.

The upside is that the whole renovation SHOULD be finished by the end of March, resulting (hopefully) in a gorgeous flat overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. Right now, however, it is a mess.

2. Load shedding

As you’ve read from posts by Michael and myself over the past years, South Africa is suffering from the aftereffects of enormous corruption by our previous president and his cronies. In fact, one family, the Guptas from India, basically tried to take over the country making it, like King Leopold did ith the Congo, their own private estate. Fortunately, they did not succeed, but left the country robbed of billions of rands.

The national electricity company, ESKOM, both through corrupt tender processes and total incompetence, now doesn’t have the capacity to supply the whole country with electricity at the same time. So everyone has to enjoy load shedding. At the least punitive, this means that for several hours a day, there is no power. The only good thing is that the timing is usually known in advance.

My flat during load-shedding

I had forgotten about load-shedding, which I last experienced several years ago, so I was ill-prepared, especially as I am not in my own flat. When the lights went out the first evening, I had the light on my iPhone, and that was it. Not conducive to doing anything. Now I am better prepared with solar lights and torches, but I can’t imagine the damage it is doing to small businesses that usually don’t have the ability to have their own private generators.

And all of this at a time when the economy needs all the help it can get. Sigh.

3. The weather

As reported a few weeks ago (The Cape Doctor), we have had some ferocious winds recently, which is not good, but also some unseasonal rain, which is good.

And they say Chicago is the windy city!

4. The water crisis

Fortunately, last year’s rainy season was good, so going from a total water crisis, the city is slowly getting back on its feet. The dams now average about 70% full, which is encouraging, as long as the next rainy season is also good. However, water restrictions still apply, although relaxed to 105 litres of water per person per day.

5. My golf.

Awful.

6. The future

Despite all of this, the city remains gorgeous. And I have something very exciting to look forward to towards the end of March. On Sunday evenings throughout summer, there are concerts on the lawns of the national botanical gardens, Kirstenbosch. With Table Mountain in the background, they are very special.

Kirstenbosch Summer Concert

On March 22^nd, one of my favorite sopranos, Pumeza Matshikiza, will be performing. She is a wonderful singer who hails from an extremely poor background here in South Africa. Listen to her story here (2 minutes). I can’t wait.

Pumeza

Therapy through golf and art

 Stanley - Thursday

I love golf! Theoretically, it is an easy game. Unlike most ball sports, the ball is stationary when you hit it. How hard can that be? And when you reach the green, the hole is on a well manicured surface where the ball rolls smoothly. All you have to do is hit the ball from the tee, where you are allowed to place the ball on a peg to lift it off the ground, play in the direction of the green, and when you get there, roll the ball into the hole. Simple. Then do this eighteen times.

So, why is it so appealing and so frustrating?

I love the fact that in order to score well you have to be consistent over about 4 hours and around 80 swings at the ball. A mistake in course management or an errant swing results in you having to have even more swings at the ball. And suddenly your score has risen to 90. My course management is pretty good, but my consistency is pretty bad. Perhaps because I start thinking of how to murder someone halfway through a round. Or how to catch a witch doctor.

Golf is really a game of the mind. Certainly, you have to hit the ball consistently; certainly you have to walk three or four miles (unless you are young, when it seems you have to use a cart); certainly you have to know how to adjust your swing in windy conditions. But what influences your score the most is your mind. My mind often does me in because it wanders and loses focus. But for many people, a bad shot results in frustration, and several bad shots can cause anger and, in occasional cases, the throwing of the club. I love playing against people like that because I can often beat them even if they are better hitters of the ball. I don't lose my temper. I am resigned to occasional awful shots.

The other interesting thing about golf is that even though you are playing against yourself, it is very easy to let your opponent's play influence you. Opponent hits a great shot a metre from the hole, and suddenly adrenaline courses through your body tempting you to play a shot that you shouldn't. Strokes added. Hole lost.

Unlike many golfers, I play a round, enjoy it, and put it behind me. I never sit at the bar afterwards replaying each shot - 'If I'd only . . .' or 'My second at the fifth . . .'

For the most part, golf is my therapy.

If I can't get onto a golf course when I'm going through a rough patch, I use my art works to help me through. Generally the more abstract the piece, the more it settles me. I've wondered a lot about why that is. Why doesn't a Bosschaert or a Monet have a more profound impact on me than, say, a Picasso or a Songe kifwebe mask?

Ambrosius Bosschaert - not in Trollip collection!

Claude Monet - not in Trollip collection!

Pablo Picasso - not in Trollip collection! I wish!

Songe kifwebe mask - Trollip collection!

And why does a three-dimensional art work - a mask or figure - impact me more than a two-dimensional one? Certainly, the tactile element of a sculpture is part of the reason, but I don't really know the answer. I just know it is true.

Mkonde spirit sculpture - Trollip collection!

Shona sun sculpture - Trollip collection!

My favourite lion - Trollip collection!

Recently I found the ultimate therapy for my down days! An artistic golf course!

The Sculpture Garden in Minneapolis, next to the Walker Art Centre, has installed a miniature golf course with each hole designed and created by a Minnesota artist. It is funky, colourful, and challenging. And the cherry on the top is that the 'green' fees go to help a good cause.

Here is my therapist's couch.

Sculpture Garden

Sculpture Garden

Iconic sculpture

Hmmm!

Mette doesn't need therapy! 

Thanks, Doc.