Sunday, March 22, 2020

Dark Times—Light Relief

As the UK hunkers down into what are still the early stages of the coronavirus Covid-19 pandemic, there’s a surreal quality to life. For most of us, the seriousness of what’s happening has not yet quite sunk in. Not to the extent that many experts are telling us it will—and soon.

Many people around me are getting used to this strange thing called Working From Home. Or, as authors call it Welcome To My World. Even so, working alone because you want to is one thing. Doing it because you have no choice is quite another matter.

It looks like we’re in this for the long haul.

At such time I find that humour is a boost to the morale. My sense of humour is on the low-brow side but I try to stay away from things that are a bit too close to the bone.

Therefore, I’ve been trawling through the jokes, images, and memes online so you don’t have to. Here’s my selection of a little light relief in dark times.

Let me tell you this coronavirus joke…
We have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.

I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers.
The Times are rough.

Finland just closed its borders.
You know what that means—no-one will be crossing the Finnish line.

In my day, you would cough to cover up a fart.
Now you fart to cover up a cough.

No toilet paper left in stores.
Stocks have been wiped out.


And finally, a couple of my own:

This week’s Word of the Weekis quarantine, which comes from the Latin quadraginta and the Italian quaranta, meaning forty. Its first known use was during the Black Death of the 14thCentury, when the port of Ragusa—now Dubrovnik in Croatia but at that time controlled by Venice—introduced a law requiring the isolation, for a period of thirty days, all ships arriving from plague-affected areas. This was known as trentino. The practice caught on and was then extended to forty days, becoming quarantine.


  1. I bow to your humor (go ahead, curtsy...). I'd like to be there for your weekend, just to see you sitting about in that posture. Thanks for the history of quarantine; "Fascinating," said Data. Great humor all around (although I must say you lost me on the "Aldi:" line; apparently some jokes are localized). You're such a card. Just remember: we have the trump (sigh...)

    1. I am curtsying as we speak, EvKa...
      Aldi is one of these discount supermarkets where you never quite know what is going to be on the shelves alongside the bread and milk and pasta (or the spaces where such items USED to be, back in the BC days...) Everything from a compressor to wetsuits, horse riding equipment, heated car seats, tools, etc. It makes every shopping trip an adventure!

    2. People have gone into the famous 'middle aisle' in Lidl ( and brother chain Aldi) solely to buy a loaf, and came out with an electric piano. ( and I am determined to learn to play it)

    3. Last time I went to Aldi for groceries, I came out with 1000 assorted screws in a box...

  2. Replies
    1. These were a few of my favourites, Michael. Glad it raised a smile.

  3. Tesco will be out of loo roll by midnight. Asda by 3 am. Lidl by 9 tomorrow morning. Aldi the same, Waitrose by lunchtime tomorrow. Morrisons supplies are variable. That is the end of the shopping forecast.

  4. I could courier toilet paper from Cape Town in return for sanitiser wipe.

    1. I have equine quality hibiscrub!

    2. Horses are not known for washing their hands much...

  5. Out here in the loo loo deprived hinterlands, we're all anxiously awaiting for the leaves to bloom...ever vigilant to "leaves of three, let it be."

  6. I love this, Zoe. As I did your tweet, even though I didn't know what Aldi was. Here my favs are the dog and the guy wearing the antivirus cd mask. I think I have one of those somewhere in the file cabinet. I am tempted to wear it next time I have to make a grocery run.

    1. Aldi, and Lidl have made grocery shopping cool for guys. Where else can they wander the aisles of a supermarket and think, 'Ooh, just what I need -- a chainsaw...'