My older brother passed away this past Friday evening. Here is his official obituary:
Born in Paterson, New
Jersey, 20th November 1939 to Samuel F. Puglise and Anna Maria
Pisacane Puglise, Andrew Puglise was educated at Our Lady of Lourdes School and
Don Bosco Technology Academy. After high
school, he served for six years as a paratrooper in the U.S. Marine Corps,
including a tour of duty in Japan aboard the U.S. aircraft carrier Coral
Sea. An early expert in computer
technology in the business sector, he was an independent management consultant
to clients such as Fidelity Investments, where he installed their first
applications of mobile technology. In
Nashville, he consulted with Avo Aerostructures, the Rogers Group, and Service
Merchandise, where he became the corporate CIO.
He was an enthusiast
of trout fishing and golf, a passionate music lover, and a car aficionado.
He is survived by his
beloved wife, Patricia Ball, his son Michael Puglise, daughter Linda Elizabeth
Little, dear daughter-friend Robin Banner and her wife Diane Dunn; grandchildren—Christan
Odum, Chelan Branham, Austin and Annamarie Puglise; great-grandson Riley Sweat;
sister Patricia King and brother-in-law David Clark, brother Paul Puglise and sister-in-law Kathleen Puglise,
brother Mark Puglise, and several nieces and nephews, his sister-in-law Kay
Hillyard and her husband Rick.
There is of course much, much more to his story than that. I have been thinking of our early, early
days.
Just sixteen months apart, we were raised as a two-kid
unit. “Andy and Patti, wash your hands
and come to the table.” “Andy and Patti,
finish your oatmeal. It’s time to leave
for school.” “Andy and Patti, brush your
teeth. It’s bedtime.”
When I was five and he was six, he took to cutting pictures
of snakes out of National Geographic and hanging them over his bed in the room
we shared. I got nightmares.
On the other hand, my treasured wanderlust developed when we two lay on our tummies on the living room floor, turning the pages of the atlas and fantasizing about those faraway places with the strange-sounding names. His curiosity about them evaporated once he developed his passion for golf. Mine persists, and I would not have it if it weren’t for him.
On the other hand, my treasured wanderlust developed when we two lay on our tummies on the living room floor, turning the pages of the atlas and fantasizing about those faraway places with the strange-sounding names. His curiosity about them evaporated once he developed his passion for golf. Mine persists, and I would not have it if it weren’t for him.
We grew up in that lovely bygone era when kids played outside,
largely unsupervised. We swarmed through
the neighborhood in packs, jumping backyard fences and stealing under-ripe
fruit from other people’s trees, getting many tummy aches and spankings in the
process.
On many a Sunday, we went for a ride out in the country in the
family’s early-model Ford jalopy. Our
destination was the Dairy Barn—where a farmer had turned his roadside building
into a place to get ice cream. I
savored my scoop of chocolate. Andy ate his cone fast and then, with the tippy
end of it, stole some of mine. One
Sunday, the following exchanges took place in the car:
(On the way out of town.)
Me: Mommy, Mommy,
Andy is pulling my hair.
Mom: Stop that. Sit down and be quiet.
(On the way home.)
Me: Mommy, Mommy, Andy is stealing my ice cream.
Mom: Stop that. Sit
down and be quiet.
(Nearly home, as daddy slowly turns the corner onto our
street, Andy leans on the door handle with his elbow. The door swings open and Andy gently rolls
out of the car.)
Me: Mommy, Mommy,
Andy fell out of the car.
Mom: Stop that. Sit down and be quiet.
Our greatest caper took place after our grandfather had died
and our grandmother moved in with us.
Each evening before going to bed, Andy and I stood side by side at the bathroom
sink, brushing our teeth. Once grandma
moved in, at night she left her false teeth on the shelf under the mirror in a
glass of water. They grossed us out.
When, at the age of six, I lost my front tooth, the tooth
fairy left me a nickel. That evening
Andy and I thought what to do. Neither
of us wanted to fish the dentures out of the water with our fingers. He dumped the glass in the sink. I took a washcloth from the bathroom closet,
picked up the teeth, and hid them in the back of a closet shelf. We refilled the glass and dropped in the
nickel, brushed our teeth, and went to bed.
Shouting awakened us the next morning. Grandma was running around the apartment,
with one hand masking her empty gums, exclaiming, “Where are my teeth? Where are my teeth?”
It did not take long for mommy and daddy to burst into our
room. “Where did you put them?” Mommy
demanded.
“The tooth fairy must have taken them?” we peeped,
tentatively. Our formidable grandmother
glared at us over mommy’s shoulder—most seriously displeased. We fessed up and took our punishment: no
dessert for the next three days.
Looking back, I can now imagine our parents’ laughter once
they were alone.
We didn't just look like The Little Rascals, we were the little rascals. |
And so it went.
And so it goes. Those
precious moments of our childhood that are coming to me now that he is gone.
He died far too soon.
It’s hard for me to imagine that this is the same planet without him on
it. But his death was beautiful. He breathed his last with us holding hands in
a circle—two holding hands with him. His
last days had kept us together long enough to forgive one another our sins.
I am writing this the next day. This morning, of the 745 songs on my iPad,
this below was the first one the shuffle played for me.
I listened to Dylan’s words and thought of Andy and how
lucky I was to be with him when we were kids and how glad that, if this tragedy had to happen, at least I was with him
when the deal went down.
A bottle of champagne for the first person who writes a comment identifying what Andy is holding in his hands. |
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel.