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| Image by Gage Skidmore |
Right about now, almost every sane, rational, freethinking
adult in the world is probably thinking the same one thought, 'What if Trump
wins?'
I mean, I don't mean to be a writer about it
and be all dramatic and stuff, but the one greatest threat facing our planet
today is the very real possibility of a President Trump. It's a dangerous
possibility that is as clear and present as just a few weeks away. Really,
folks, it can happen. It can happen. President Trump.
Many months ago, when the Donald was no more
than a comic relief side show, I hurried to share my conspiracy theory with
people around me before it became the mainstream theory and I would, if I
continued to share it, be by default rehashing what everyone else was saying.
It was that good, that plausible a conspiracy theory. It goes like this (and I
must say I came up with it independently of the million other people who came
up with it):
Donald Trump will win the republican vote to
run. The GOP however will decide that he is too racist, too sexist, too
dangerous to associate with and they will refuse to endorse him. They'll choose
the next best bad candidate and the Donald, mad as hell to be subjected to such
great betrayal and unfairness and skulduggery, will announce his independent
candidature, run against the GOP filler candidate and in so doing, split the
republican vote and thus secure Hillary's win. Shortly after the results are
announced and he tells reporters that it's a fix, and 'It's not gonna stand,
folks. It's not gonna stand,' he'll use a secure line to make a call from the
back of his limousine: 'Bill, we did it.'
Everybody came up with the same conspiracy
theory. Everyone knew he was working for Hillary. He was friends with the
Clintons, wasn't he? Everybody knew he wasn't really running for the office.
But, wait, it's just him and her now, and they're both neck to neck, or so says
the polls. So, were we all wrong? Was he really running to be the next
President of the United States of America all along?
A new theory of mine, now old, is that he was indeed working for
Hillary, but then his false campaign gained momentum and suddenly he had a real
chance and he said to his old buddy, 'Look, Bill, maybe I should really be the
one in the Whitehouse, you know.'
But here is my newest conspiracy theory. It's
so brand new, I bet you haven't heard it before. It came to me when I watched
the first TV debate between Hillary and the Donald.
Donald Trump did what he
does; he lied, he bullied, he lied, he bullied some more, and he lied some more.
And he denied everything. He interrupted everyone, even the cheering audience,
anytime he felt the need to deny saying something that he's been recorded
saying.
Then, when 'Secretary Hillary' was proposing that the reason he would not
release his tax records was because he had not paid any tax in...., he interrupted her
to say it was because he was smart.
Wait! What? On live TV. Presidential
campaign. The Donald admitted to paying no federal income taxes, and in his weird
convoluted world, that made him smart? Then, less than an hour later, reporters
confronted him on the topic and, I pause not for effect but to stare at the
ground and shake my head at the total lack of anything good in the man, he
denied saying it! The Donald said he never said it!
And this is my new conspiracy theory:
Donald
Trump IS really running for President, and Donald Trump really believes the
shit he says, and Donald Trump is being 100% absolutely truthful when he denies
every saying any of the shit he says, because Donald Trump has Alzheimer's.
Posts
Maybe.
ReplyDeleteBut his supporters still won't give a toot what he says or doesn't, does or doesn't, thinks (I use the word loosely there) or doesn't, or gesticulates.
Because blind spot.
We are in a new era of politics in which truth and facts dont matter.
DeleteHell, I think he could have pulled out a gun and shot Lester dead on live TV and STILL pulled in 40% of the vote. Who knows? Maybe his numbers would have even gone up. This year has been like living with Alice down in Wonderland.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid you're right. He said so himself, about shooting someone and not denting his support base.
DeleteI like your first conspiracy theory. Too bad it didn't work out...
ReplyDeleteWho knows? Maybe its still in play? (Wishfull thinking)
DeleteThese days, "Before Common Era" has an entirely new meaning to me.
ReplyDeleteTrue. True.
DeleteNarcissistic Alzheimer's - a new disease. Forget about everything except oneself.
ReplyDeleteMy biggest concern is that his brand of politics will out live him.
DeleteWhen everyone was laughing at him, I said, "Don't laugh. Hitler was elected." Now I wish I could laugh. I can laugh at Alzheimer's disease, even though--as many here know I am suffering from collateral Alzheimer's damage. But I can't laugh about Trump. Because I'm too terrified.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know this. I hope my little satirical piece didn't come across as insensitive. The whole world is terrified at the prospects of President Trump. :-(
DeleteDavid Cay Johnston, author of The Making of Donald Trump, knows a heck of a lot about this bigoted braggard. He said that he lives in his own reality, and says whatever he wants to say, but he knows the truth.
ReplyDeleteHe said he also says what his net worth is depending on his mood on a particular day. On a good day, he'll say he's worth $2 billion -- when it is estimated he's really worth $200 million.
The NY Times did a good job of uncovering his 1995 tax return where he claimed a loss of nearly $1 billion, and thus probably paid no taxes since then.
Democracy Now! featured Johnston and David Barstow of the Times, who discussed the tax situation, as he met with Trump's accountant.
His misogyny knows no bounds. He insults women as "entertainment," he says, part of promoting "The Apprentice," on TV. He's losing votes of women and moderates.
He keeps digging his own grave by his own comments and Tweets.
But, like Brexit, we may just be in for a shocker... Bad people get elected when good people don't vote.
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