Jeff--Saturday
A few years back I read something in The New York Times that led me to write a blog post. As opposed to cry, gnash my teeth, or curse the night. I believe it's time to revisit the subject.
A few years back I read something in The New York Times that led me to write a blog post. As opposed to cry, gnash my teeth, or curse the night. I believe it's time to revisit the subject.
It was about hand gestures of the Italians. There are hundreds they say, many coming via ancient Greeks who’d settled in southern Italy—which should come as no surprise to fans of such historic classics as the Aeneid and My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
Having been raised in an Italian neighborhood in Pittsburgh and now living in Greece, I clicked on the newspaper’s accompanying video, looking forward to a meaningful trip down memory lane. Nice piece for the uninitiated, but virtually useless for anyone trying to follow the actual guts of a colorful, down home conversation among the locals. It’s like wearing a pin-stripe suit to a (non-Yankee) baseball game and expecting to fit in with the fans in the bleachers.
Even if you don’t understand the language, knowing a few of the more, shall we say, earthy hand gestures will enrich your understanding of the people and possibly alert you to some situations (and people) you should avoid.
For example, if you happen to see two Greek men waving at each other, hands extended straight out from their shoulders, it’s not a “Howdy, my friend, how you doing?” moment. Nor do I suggest adopting the gesture as a quaint way of saying “hello” to Greeks.
So, as a public service for those seeking a less Politically Correct report than the Times’ coverage on local gestures, here are my top five or so obscene Greek gestures…as illustrated by my capable ancient Greek assistant, an A(n)donis in his own right.
Let’s start with the “waving hand” gesture I just mentioned. It even has a name, the moutza. You’ll quite often see it serve as the precursor to a road rage incident when flashed by the victim of one of Greece’s finer driver’s incomprehensible decisions, such as passing a car in the face of on-coming traffic only to cut back in line barely inches from the soon to be moutza flashing other driver’s front bumper, running a stop sign, turning without warning, or otherwise demonstrating that the common sense rules of the road don’t apply to that driver.
The moutza is the classic, non-verbal Greek method of expressing that you are the dumbest S.O.B. to walk the earth…or have done an award winning stupid act.
And for the really stupid (acts and people), there’s the double moutza, though that’s rarely expressed in a driving situation except by a driver deserving of the double moutza himself… or herself. For, yes, even women are known to flash the moutza on occasion.
Another gesture, one rarely expressed by a woman, is the one-handed chop in the direction of your own genital area or, if really incensed, a two-handed chop. I say rarely by a woman because the dialog accompanying the act generally includes a reference “to my balls,” and is meant to convey, “I don’t give a damn about your opinion. Don’t waste my time with nonsense.”
There is a unisex version available for those so inclined. It’s a one- or two-handed chop in the direction of the bottom of your shoes accompanied by a phrase roughly meaning “I write your words on the bottom of my old shoes because they’re so meaningless.”
Hmmm, bet you’re still wondering why the “All the news that’s fit to print” folks didn’t take their story in this direction.
To continue. You’ll often see in modern Greece the “up yours” sign of one hand clasping the inside of the bent other arm at the elbow, or the middle finger salute, but purest Greeks regard them as coarser gestures corruptive of the classic Greek. “Up yours is Italian,” said my expert, and “this” flashing me the finger “is now part of America’s political culture” despite its Greco-Roman origins.
For the really hard-core classic Greek gesture equivalent to our revered middle finger, my friend demonstrated the time honored…drum roll…open handed, bent middle finger.
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| Jim Croce (1943-1973) |
A CLOSING WORD OF CAUTION. Though many of these gestures are exchanged among friends in a teasing, playful way, the indiscriminate use of them can be hazardous to one’s health. To paraphrase Jim Croce’s great lyric, “You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit into the wind, and you don’t flash the finger at the old Lone Ranger unless you want to end up skinned.”
—Jeff
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Hmmm. This could be tricky for Batswana visiting Greece. The "up yours" gesture is almost exactly the polite and respectful way of accepting something in their culture and always used. Hopefully Greeks are forgiving of people from obviously different cultures.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with all the events! Wish I was there to cheer you on!
I'll really could use you as an expert witness, Michael,
Deletebecause people don't seem to understand that the gesture I'm making more and more these days at Cable TV News is only the Batswanan sign of politeness and respect.
Do I sense a bit of exaggeration, my brother? Do Greeks really take offense if strangers make a gesture that is offensive if a Greek does it? Sicilians aren't so thin skinned. At lease not since they defeated the Athenians in the final battle of the Peloponnesian Wars.
ReplyDeleteCurse me if you like, for saying such a thing. I hold up my open hand. Which I learned in MY Italian and Jewish neighborhood. It protects me against the evil eye. Yours or anyone else's.
Hmm, Sis, in your experience, how do you think a Sicilian would react to a total stranger giving him the finger (or its equivalent)...with meaning?
DeleteI misunderstood. You seemed to be saying that a stranger in Greece could provoke a Greek by accident just by waving what the stranger thought was “hello.” Such an accidental interchange would send a Sicilian into peaks of laughter.
DeleteHm, most of these gestures, it seems, could be summed up by the all-purpose phrase "Talk to the (insert appropriate body part) because the (insert other appropriate body part) ain't listening."
ReplyDeleteI like that, Zoë. I think I'll put it on a tee-shirt.
DeleteYou did misunderstand, Sis. Greeks would respond precisely the same way to an innocent tourist “wave.” Let’s not forget that Italians and Greeks share the same phrase about the other in their respective languages: “Same face, same race.”
ReplyDeleteOne of your best and a topic of interest to all of us learning the Greek language - both spoken and unspoken!
ReplyDeletePS. New comment, or question: I wanted to share this on FB and don't see your buttons for sharing on other social media - where are they?
ReplyDeleteI’m informed the icons are at the bottom of each blog - a little difficult to see but definitely there.
DeleteI’m sure your Greek neighbors will appreciate your sharpened language skills. :)
ReplyDelete