Friday, September 26, 2014

Bloody Scotland- The Truth At Last

I don't know where to start. The sleeplessness of the referendum night. The fact I have lost friends as they were not what they appeared to be.  I've been called a piece of 'traitorous scum', I admit I've been called worse but that is inaccurate. 

The political  bing bongs are going on now. Cameron accidentally leaked that the Queen purred at the news of the no vote. The yeses have formed a '45' campaign. The noes are being quiet and getting on with it.
The government have said there are removing their sponsorship of Scotland, after Salmond consistently pointing out how wealthy we are.
This will cause us economic difficulties and now the yeses are saying we are being victimised yet again and blaming it on the noes.
The noes are keeping quiet and getting on with it.
And there was a wee riot in Glasgow, probably started by Unionists, not typical of the No vote but it was a nasty few minutes.  But anybody who thinks sectarianism is dead is deluded. It's a lot better than it used to be, but  a tiny hardcore minority remains and they kicked off.

So we went to Bloody Scotland Crime Writing Festival tired and battered. To be met by folk telling me it was a shame the chance to help our children had been thrown away. That was by somebody with four houses, only one of them in Scotland so go figure. Looks were exchanged round the green room, sounding each other out silently. Easy really, the yeses are vocal, the noes keep quiet.
There was a debate at the festival where the yeses were told to go home and greet (cry) about the chances they have lost. My own event was on at the same time so I can't comment and the quote above was the only one being banded about.

I had my own problems. If I can be a female for a moment, I had to do three costume changes, two events, without the use of a hotel room to change in ( it wasn't ready) and  I caught the hem of my trousers on my heel so I had a long leg and a short leg. I do  have one leg three quarters of an inch longer than the other but the uneven  leg didn't match the uneven trouser leg. If you see what I mean, the long trouser was on the stumpy leg.
So I had to change from this comedy physio outfit to something you will see later...
I don't know if it was deliberate but it was not fair. The Bloody Scotland football match; Scotland versus England ended 13-1. The Scots were fine young men and good footballers. The England team were a bunch of dads. Not sure that they were on the same songsheet never mind score sheet.
The Scots were taking it very seriously. It was only 36 hours after the result of the vote.

Alex and I 

you can just make out the metal grids to protect the windows.

physio posers

note fake blood and whisky 'refreshment'

Scotland score.....(that hardly ever happens in real life football)

Michael pretending he had a groin strain

Mr Rankin, Mr Billingham. How can that Ref be neutral, he's a very Scottish looking person

Yip, that's Dirk with the hair!

dressed for sell out event with Alex Grey
(even trousers)

waiting to go in dinner, changed again..
(Uneven trousers)

bloody hungry at bloody scotland, where is my dinner....

I do believe that this was Yrsa's  retreat for a quiet smoke later

Peter May won the Scottish Crime Book Of the Year with Entry Island. We all got a copy

The next day, interviewing  two authors, one of whom was two was a Stan/ Michael situation. I was worried the singleton would not get fair airtime but it went OK.

walking from a to b on Sunday afternoon,  note uneven trousers...

I can't tweet.
It was not compulsory.

great venue

                     Don't know what I am wittering on about here, but it was very witty and clever...


                                           Big event with Shari, lovely girl and we had a real hoot.


Shari and I shattered after event!!!

Caro Ramsay  Bloody Scotland   26th Sept 2014


  1. Caro, In the interest of gender equality, I think men should be forced--at least once a year--to wear high heels with their trousers, so they will experience first hand what happens when a heel goes into a hem. Good for you that it did not end in a face plant, as I have seen happen. Not to me--at least not yet.

  2. All right, you traitorous scum, there'll be none of this "men should be forced to..." stuff around here. We don't FORCE women to wear high heels. We're not OPPOSED to it, mind you. Like we could force women to do ANYTHING they didn't want to do. We're lucky we're allowed in the house. Even after we've been properly toilet trained. That's like saying women should be forced to wear a jock strap with a couple of golf balls and a wee sausage in it, just to see what it's like to try to walk and juggle between your legs at the same time...

    Okay, I now turn you over to Jeff.

  3. I'll tell you what, EvKA, to redeem myself from the category of traitorous scum, I will retract my statement above at the very moment that someone publishes a reliable, controlled study that shows men are equally attracted to women wearing sensible, comfortable clothing as they are to women dressed in unconfortable ways designed to make them appealing to the opposite sex. As a concession to your pique, I will accept such study results without regard to the physical attractiveness of male participants. As to the discomforts of possessing male genitalia, no woman is unaware of these tribulations. Otherwise, why would men be constantly fiddling with their junk or finding other excuses to touch themselves? Not to bring up Freud's theory of penis envy, with which women have been vilified for many, many decades. I cannot a imagine a woman who would subscribe to such a nonsensical notion, except fleetingly when forced to pee outdoors.

  4. Define 'reliable' and 'controlled' to my satisfaction, and I'll get such a study published tout de suite. Until then, we'll have to settle on possible points of agreement:
    1) There will never be complete agreement on anything.

    Uh... give me a sec', I'm sure I can come up with #2.

    As for men having to constantly fiddle with their junk and touch themselves, that's simple: it's hard to find anyone else who really wants to...

    As for peeing outdoors, ah, truly one of life's great experiences. So sayeth a man.

    1. I am not so sure there is a man on the planet who truly understands the meaning of the words "reliable" and "controlled." (I am not sure I truly believe what I just said, but I could not pass up the opportunity to say it anyway.)

    2. :-) Sometimes those irresistable urges just should NOT be resisted. (Although I think that's how I got into this thread in the first place.)

      Coincidentally, (bear with me, there IS a point to this...) just the other day I needed to buy some new 'briefs' (yes, I'm a briefs-guy, not a boxer-guy, even though my dad was a boxer guy, but my mom got me started on briefs and I never looked back, which should tell you a lot about the power of mothers). Anyway, the local store wanted $26 for a package of 4, and I thought to myself, "Self, that's sounds like a pretty high price for 4 swathes of cotton." So, I went home and checked Amazon, and sure enough, I could get a package of 7 delivered to my doorstep ('free' shipping) for a total of $8.

      Well, (I told you I'd get to the point) today they came, and I cracked up when I saw this slogan on the front of the package: "Full Coverage Fit. Keeps You In Place."

      And all this time I thought it was a wife's job to keep their husband in their place!

  5. I could have sworn I responded to this had me envious post first thing this morning. I distinctly recall typing up something hilariously witty and insightful...but it apparently ran off and hid once AA and EvKa got cooking. Me thinks, dear EvKa, I'll take a hint from the Greek Internet gods and leaf all this to ewe.

    1. Somehow I'm not surprised. And all this time I thought you had no valor, but look at all that discretion!

  6. I was expecting Annamaria, or at LEAST Jeff, to pick up on that straight-line, but was sorely disappointed. So, Caro, I'm glad that at least YOU are still on the ball. (Although that may not be the best turn of phrase for THIS discussion...)

    By the way, I got so carried away, that I forgot to thank you for this post. I enjoyed it immensely! Sounds like a lot of fun was had, at least by some.