Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Hot, hot, hot

Last week at this same time I told you I would not be blogging today. Turns out I am so I hope you are not way too disappointed.

I am now in the Caribbean, writing away like a crazed person to meet my annual deadline. When we arrived here it was so hot and humid I expected to end as a puddle on the floor of the open air lobby – thereby sharing a fate with the Wicked Witch of the West. You see, this is the first heat I have experienced all summer, which in fact was not a summer at all in Iceland. Just some sort of rainy fall/early winter combo. That, coupled with the fact that I come from a long lineage of windswept and chilled-to-the-bone Icelandic people I was worried I would not be able to get any work done in this crazy tropical heat due to an IV of ice-water being lodged in my arm.

Heat exhaustion can make stupid ideas seem smart. I know that now. As an example I got the notion that the best thing for me would be to keep the heat away from every inch of my body by dressing heavily. So I put on pants, a trench-coat, a hat, a scarf and sunglasses and thought that this would work. It didn‘t. It made everything a whole lot worse. We got all sorts of looks and it did not help our standing with the hotel staff that my husband kept mistakenly referring to this country as The Dominican Peoples Republic. Our look was thus of really stupid evil villains from a Spy Kids Movie. Had that slot not been taken already by Kim Young Il.   

One of my husband’s favorite pastimes is reading the worst reviews on trip advisor after we have decided where to go and stay, and then to compare these comments to the promises made by the hotel/resort. In our case now, this is the one he liked the most – please keep in mind that the advert says that we will be experiencing an astounding treat for the senses and utter tranquility. Or something down that road. The low reviews on Tripadvisor however told us to expect Club Med on Crack.

We got neither obviously which is all fine and good. We got precisely what we needed, the sea and possibly a little more sun and heat than we bargained for.

I have never been a big fan of pretend life – a princess for a day at your giant wedding bash as an example. It makes no sense, why not have something lovely that will not throw anyone into years of debt. I am not saying people should get married at McDonalds, just that it doesn’t have to be some crazy extravaganza to be beautiful. Skip some of those expensive trimmings that don’t really stand the light of day, hence the dimmed lighting. And what is it like anyway to return to a normal life after pretending to be some sort of royalty for a single day? And why would anyone want to feel like a prince/princess anyway? Although I do not have anything to back me up on this I am sure that the more grandiose and out of the happy couples true reach the wedding is, the more likely it is to end up in divorce. Don’t even get me started with the diamond cartel and their pressuring of young men to buy way too expensive rings that are truly not worth a tenth of the selling price. And what is with us women to buy into this – what are we, magpies?

I apologize for the above rant. I mean it though but it is probably not appropriate. Maybe there is crack in the food or drinking water here after all.

Yrsa - Wednesday


  1. Yrsa, I enjoyed your "rant" today. The lightness took some of the sting away from American hearts on our 9/11 memorial day. Thelma in Manhattan

  2. Rant? What rant? It's called heat stroke. Comes from too much trench coat, not enough mamajuana. That's MAMAjuana. Enjoy and see you in a week!

    1. Jeff - I have once tried writing drunk to see what it would come out like. Couldn't delete it quickly enough once sober. I cannot imagine what my writing here would be like if I were to do it while smoking weed. My editor would be on the first palne over.

  3. Hi Thelma - oh I had not realised the date although I certain should have. Yesterday in an escape attempt from the sun I watched a program on the History Cahnnel about 9/11. It was a compilation of various footage from varying sources, video from regular people and the only commentary was what was being said on camera. It was harrowing - so much so that I could feel my skin crawl. The most horrific were clips where they played dialoge between the firemen in the buildings just before the collapse. Just awful. The evil of some people knows no bounds at all. My thoughts are now with NYC despite the silly nature of my post.

  4. Thank you for those thoughts, Yrsa. With all that's gong on re Syria - and the tangled web of international conversations that are all so "mystery-ious" ! - today is a rather somber and sad day in this country. You remember exactly what you were doing when those planes came... and somehow, with all the upheavals of the last week - it seems like yesterday, for the first time in many years. Thelma in Manhattan

  5. Yrsa, after reading today's post I think we must be twins
    separated at birth, who think identically. The only problems with that theory are that you are younger, prettier, and what's the other one again? Oh yes. A tremendously talented author. Good luck with the heat and the chaos.

  6. Yrsa, your post is, as usual, at once wise and hilarious. Can't wait to be with you at B'con.

  7. I always thought Yrsa and Jeff were identical twins, separated at birth... until Jeff's new picture showed up on the blog. Sorry about that, Yrsa!

    Given your native habitat, I'd suggest that for your next summer tropical vacation, instead of going to the ACTUAL tropics, perhaps somewhere that would FEEL tropical (to you), somewhere like... England. Sweden. Norway. Alaska. I hear they actually get occasional sunshine in some of those places without causing blisters to rise on your camel-hair coat.

  8. Funny and true to me, as usual. What are you bringing to Bouchercon this year?