Monday, October 25, 2010

Magic Online

Want to “make yourself irresistible even if you’re ugly”?
Or “cause someone you don’t like to lose their teeth”?
From the comfort of your own home”
At zero cost?
Well, now you can.

Here’s what you do:

1.      Grab your Portuguese/English dictionary.
2.      Go to http://macumbaonline.com/ and register.
3.      Choose a spell.
4.      Fill-in the email address of the individual to be blessed or cursed.
5.      Hit enter.

There are 86 different mandigas (spells) you can choose from, about equally divided between achieving one’s heart’s desire and complicating the lives of people you don’t like.

In the former department you’ll find things like coming into money, getting a job, becoming pregnant and having your team win their next football (soccer) game.
In the latter, you can cause someone to acquire permanent body odor, go bankrupt, have hair grow on their backside, or have their male organ fall off.

Voodoo?
Yeah,, that’s what the folks call it in Haiti.
(We, here in Brazil, don't stick pins in dolls like the Haitians do.)
Santaria?
That’s Cuba.
We call it macumba.
All three refer to spiritualist religions derived from the Yorubá people of central Africa.
All three enjoy a high degree of credence in their individual countries, even among the best-educated of people.
And all three make ample use of spells.

Here are some (loosely) translated excerpts from the home page of the site:

Ever think about casting a spell? Don’t want to go to the trouble to visit a terreiro? (Translator’s note: a terreiro is a place where the orixas, the spirits, are worshipped.) Like home deliveries? Whatever your motive for wanting to use magic, you’ve come to the right place. On this site you can cast spells for yourself, or send a curse to your neighbor, your mother-in-law, your cat, or anyone else you think deserves it. Best of all, it’s free! Do it the easy way. Everything you can get by visiting a terreiro, you can get here. Let us do the work. Macumba Online, to make your life easier.

Up to now, the site has had more than 2.5 million unique visitors. On the home page, there’s a listing of the most popular spells to date. The top three are:

  1. Securing the affection of a loved one.
  2. Losing weight.
  3. Coming into money.
The top three curses are:

  1. Giving someone diarrhea.
  2. The screwing up (it’s not stated that politely) of someone’s life.
  3. The separation of someone from their current partner.
Some of the ones that make me think there’s a story behind them are:

  1. Causing someone to choke on semen.
  2. Causing someone to stop lying.
  3. Causing someone to be expelled from the country.
On the left of the home page, you’ve got the public spells, the ones you want everyone to know about. This morning, a woman by the name of Adriana Flavia Carvalho Timotéo cursed someone with chronic laziness, separation from their mate, contracting an inflammation, to be cheated upon by the selfsame mate and to gain at least 100 kilograms. And she did it all within the space of five minutes. It is not specified who the recipient was of all this venom, but considering the 100 kilogram item, I suspect it was a female.

Leighton - Monday

14 comments:

  1. Leighton--

    I am forwarding this link to nearly everyone I know. Finally, a rational response to America's current election cycle.

    --Lenny

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. i saw a comment on a site about Dr.Agbazara, and i also contacted him, he is true spell cast. he help of cast c spell that brought down my obesity weight that i was born with to a normal slim woman, i am so happy that my life is back to me now and i am happy because people were discriminating me and i could not get married until now. you can contact him he you have any problem on;

      (agbazara@gmail.com)
      or call (+2348104102662)

      i still can't believe that his powers could help me like this just withing 2weeks. i am so so grateful

      Doctor. contact him and you will see for your self what am saying.

      Delete
  2. Spells must be in the air. Our fourth book is about spells - but of a more sinister type.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am sending this link on as well! Wait...maybe I shouldn't. Is there a way to search your own name on the site? Find out if anyone cast a spell on you?

    Thanks for guest blogging at my site on Thursday. With 15 comments, I think we can count it a success.

    Michele
    SouthernCityMysteries

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lenny,
    You see?
    Brazil does have some relevance in the modern world.

    Stan,
    Africa is, of course, where all this stuff comes from in the first place. Can't wait to read to read the fourth Kubu.

    Michele,
    Nope, sorry, there's no way of searching for your own name. But what you can do is set up a counter-spell that should effectively defeat any negative spells that have been laid upon you.
    As to the guest slot on your great blog:
    http://southerncitymysteries.blogspot.com/
    my thanks to you! I really enjoyed the interaction with your readers.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I taught in an Italian-American community in the 1970's. All the girls had a religious medal,usually a Madonna, and the horns to ward off evil. They were covering both sides of the equation.

    They reoeatedly tried to teach me how I would know if I had/had not been cursed. It involved a bowl of water and olive oil. I was to drop some olive oil into the water at the middle of the bowl. If they olive oil stayed in a clump, it meant one thing; if the olive oil broke into pieces and spread across the water, it meant something else.

    I could never remember which was good and which was bad so I never knew if I was cursed or not.

    Beth

    ReplyDelete
  6. I laughed out loud about 15 times.

    I'd like to pay the proprietors of the site for some additional spells: causing someone to make out checks to me and put them in the mail; forcing John Sandford to write my new book; re-coding Amazon so all orders placed are actually for one of my titles; giving all American politicians the spell that was obviously cast on Dick Cheney, which is to say getting the face they deserve; and on and on.

    I mean, this is some useful stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Counter spell, perfect! And I love Timothy's ideas as well. I'll tag along on those...

    Michele
    SouthernCityMysteries

    ReplyDelete

  8. I NEVER BELIEVED IN SPELLS UNTIL I MET THIS VERY POWERFUL SPELL CASTER. I WAS ABOUT GOING TO FOR A BEAUTY SHOW AND MY HAIR WAS TOO SHORT I NEVER KNOW WHAT TO DO I APPLIED ALL TYPES OF CREAM AND MANY STUFFS AND IT NEVER WORKED I WAS FRUSTRATED. SO A FRIEND OF MINE TOLD ME OF A SPELL CATER WHO HELPED HER IN A LOVE SPELL TO GET HER HUSBAND BACK SHE TOLD ME THAT THE SPELL CASTER CAN HELP ME SO I CONTACTED THE SPELL CASTER I SENT HIM SOME INFORMATION ABOUT MYSELF AND HE ASKED FOR SOME MONEY WHICH HE WILL USE TO BUY MATERIALS WITHOUT DOUBT I SENT HIM THE MONEY AND IN 2 DAYS TIME HE SHIPPED SOMETHING TO ME THROUGH THE DHL WHEN I GOT IT I WAS VERY HAPPY AND I USED IT EXACTLY THE WAY HE ASKED ME TO AND TO MY GREATEST SURPRISE IN LESS THAT 5 DAYS MY GOT VERY LOAN MORE THAN I EXPECT. IF YOU ARE OUT THERE AND YOU NEED HELP TO MAKE YOUR HAIR LONGER EMAIL THE SPELL CASTER NOW DRJAMESDSOLUTION@GMAIL.COM.. HE IS THE BEST.. THANKS DR JOHN I AM SO GRATEFUL . DRJAMESDSOLUTION@GMAIL.COM.WISH YOU GOOD LUCK.
    Reply

    ReplyDelete

  9. i saw a comment on a site about Dr.Agbazara, and i also contacted him, he is true spell cast. he help of cast c spell that brought down my obesity weight that i was born with to a normal slim woman, i am so happy that my life is back to me now and i am happy because people were discriminating me and i could not get married until now. you can contact him he you have any problem on;

    (agbazara@gmail.com)
    or call (+2348104102662)

    i still can't believe that his powers could help me like this just withing 2weeks. i am so so grateful

    Doctor. contact him and you will see for your self what am saying.

    ReplyDelete
  10. My name is (Catryn Bothl) from UNITED STATES i was heart broken when my husband dumped me for another girl, i was really in love with him without him i was empty until i contacted Dr Olorun for a love binding spell, he cast a spell for me to get my husband back and my husband came back after 3days when he cast the spell i will advise any one in any kind of problem to contact Dr Olorun for any kind of spell on his email: Olorunoduduwaspiritualtemple@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Contact Dr saviour , for any kind of problems...
    such as
    HIV/AID,CANCER,LOVE SPELL,GOOD JOB,PROMOTION ALS CURE,ETC...
    I wish i have found this spell caster earlier before spending my money on
    spell without result.His powers are really amazing and i enjoyed the
    satisfaction i gained from using his spell. He is really gifted with powers
    to help people with their various problems. His email is
    {dr.saviour12@gmail.com}

    ReplyDelete
  12. My name is juliet comfort, I am here to give my testimony about a doctor who helped me in my life. I was infected with HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS in 2010, i went to many hospitals for cure but there was no solution, so I was thinking how can I get a solution out so that my body can be okay. One day I was in the river side thinking where I can go to get solution. so a lady walked to me telling me why am I so sad and i open up all to her telling her my problem, she told me that she can help me out, she introduce me to a doctor who uses herbal medication to cure HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS and gave me his email, so i mail him. He told me all the things I need to do and also give me instructions to take, which I followed properly. Before I knew what is happening after two weeks the HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS that was in my body got vanished . so if you are also heart broken and also need a help, you can also email him at: dralilaspellcaster@gmail.com OR contact his number:+2348039108803 or 08124943619


    DOCTOR alila CAN AS WELL CURE THE FOLLOWING DISEASE:-

    1. HIV/AIDS
    2. HERPES
    3. CANCER
    4. ALS
    5. Arthritis
    6. Shingles

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm very excited sharing this amazing testimony about how i save my marriage and get my husband back today, My name is Keys Miller,i live in Los Angeles, California, and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with three kids. A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband. So terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce,he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband . So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{GREATOGUDUGU@GMAIL.COM}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past seven 9 months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly contact Dr Ogudugu if you have any problems,{GREATOGUDUGU@GMAIL.COM}. Thanks you Dr Ogudugu, i will always be testifying about your good work.

    ReplyDelete